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Planet Whiz Kid https://planetwhizkid.com Musings From the Milky Way Galaxy Sun, 10 Mar 2024 21:25:15 +0000 en-US hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.4.3 https://planetwhizkid.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/02/cropped-44012a6bfc77a4afa489254596855601-700-1-2-32x32.jpg Planet Whiz Kid https://planetwhizkid.com 32 32 The 96th Academy Awards: Full & Final Predictions https://planetwhizkid.com/2024/03/the-96th-academy-awards-full-final-predictions/ https://planetwhizkid.com/2024/03/the-96th-academy-awards-full-final-predictions/#comments Sun, 10 Mar 2024 21:25:15 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=885

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the 6th Annual Planet Whiz Kid Academy Awards Predictions & Projections Virtual Written-Only Ceremony! Or, as we call it in show business, the APWKAAPPVWOCs (pronounced “ah-pwap-vocks”; lots of silent letters). Beginning in December of each year, I’m known to semi-psychotically obsess over who will be nominated for the Academy Awards and eventually who will be declared the winner on Oscar night; or, as ABC knows it, “Those Movie Awards That Help Keep Us Relevant”. It’s their film version of the Super Bowl, except somehow longer and with 1/7 as many viewers.

And of course they’re scheduled to take place on the same day as Daylight Saving Time, just like last year. In other words, the Oscars are so long. . . . “How long are they?” The Oscars are so long that Earth has to change its entire time function for them! Okay, not my best, but certainly not the worst. You heard the jokes at the Golden Globes in January, right?

But before we get to Projectionland (a loose parody of “Barbieland”), I’m going to, as usual, do what the Best Costume Design award winners do every year: stretch this thing out no matter if the audience cares or not. (No offense, Hollywood hemmers and sewers. I certainly don’t want to get on your bad side!)

First, a brief reflection on last year’s Academy Awards.

The 2023 Oscars marked a complete return to normal for the oft-troubled ceremony. Following 2021’s COVID-cursed, location-changed, hostless, and all-time lowest-rated show, and, perhaps more vitally, 2022’s triple-hosted, experimental, spaced-out, sloppy, and slappy ceremony, the Academy of Motion Pictures Arts and Sciences needed stability more than ever. Enter James Christian Kimmel. Actually, change that to “reenter”. Good ol’ Jimmy had hosted the Oscars twice before, in 2017 and 2018, doing a respectable job. And if the Oscars did something that wasn’t terribly received, that meant the producers had basically achieved the same level of accomplishment as securing world peace. Thus, Jimmy was summoned to Oscar headquarters (if those exist) last year to emcee a normal, casual, classy, nonviolent ceremony. And that’s basically what happened.

The 95th Academy Awards definitely weren’t anything to write home about (or, in this day and age, use the power of Facebook to endlessly ramble on about), but they also weren’t anything to get bent out of shape about (or, again contemporarily, use the cataclysmic power of X to ceaselessly trash and personally insult). So, overall, they were fine. There were some good speeches every now and then, things didn’t become overly political, and there weren’t any presenters assaulted onstage. Mission accomplished! (Oh, what I’m referring to when I mention an assault is that some guy slapped another guy at the Oscars a few years ago. I think Chris Rock might’ve gone after Will Smith.)

The main criticism of last year’s Oscars was that they were too “safe”. I completely understand that, given that I myself agreed with that conclusion for awhile, as well. However, that was probably the right choice. No, they weren’t very riveting, but the producers’ main goal was just to get through an okay ceremony without any major mishaps like another mixed-up final envelope. (Oh, what I’m referring to when I mention a mixed-up envelope is that the wrong Best Picture winner was announced at the Oscars a few years ago. I think they might’ve called it for Moonlight, but La La Land actually won.)

While there wasn’t any controversy involving last year’s Oscars show (to the detrimental disappointment of TMZ), it was only common courtesy for it to make its dramatic entrance following this year’s nominations announcement back in January, which was hosted by Zazie Beetz and Jack Quaid. (Poor Zazie and Jack. They get a phone call from the Academy: “Hello, this is the Oscars. We would love it if you would take time out of your very busy schedule to do us the honor of hosting . . . the nominations announcement! See you in January for ten minutes, toodle-doo!” How dismaying.)

Given the critical, commercial, and cultural success of July’s surprise blockbuster Barbie (which, if you didn’t guess, is about Barbie), filmmaker Greta Gerwig was widely expected to nab a nod for Best Director, and Margot Robbie for Best Actress as the beloved titular plastic hero. Gerwig had been previously nominated for her acclaimed 2017 dramedy Lady Bird, which was also up for Best Picture. Her 2019 Little Women remake was also among the Academy’s top nine pictures of that year, though Gerwig missed out on a Director nom in a femaleless year for that category. (New word.) With lots of awards support thrown behind Barbie, Gerwig received directorial recognition in the form of Golden Globe, Critics’ Choice Award, and Directors Guild of America Award nominations. Robbie, meanwhile, achieved Best Actress acknowledgements in the four “precursor” awards necessary to almost guarantee an Oscar nod: the Golden Globes, BAFTAs, Critics’ Choice Awards, and Screen Actors Guild Awards. And then January 23, 2024 came: a day which will live in infamy. Or people will just forget about it in two weeks’ time.

While Barbie received a solid eight nominations, including Best Picture, both Gerwig and Robbie were absent in their respective categories. “Gasp!” cried both awards pundits and media outlets, the latter hoping to stir up a nice hot pot of debate (known to them as “mo’ money for us, mo’ problems for society”). Disappointed cries from Barbarettes (my custom nickname for Barbie fans, who will inevitably receive an official designation in the near future) echoed across the internet, with accusations ranging from an ignorant snub by the Academy to a misogynistic air floating around the Dolby Theatre. Things shockingly (italicized for sarcastic effect) made it to The View, where previous Oscar host and EGOT-winner Whoopi Goldberg argued that since art is subjective, there’s no such thing as “snubs”. An interesting take, despite one that wouldn’t calm the tension.

Quite literally the last thing I want to do is get involved in what could deteriorate into a Bravo-adjacent feud over who was wrong and who was right. (You can just hear it: “Oh my absolute gosh, Greta was totally wronged. Margot deserved better. I can’t take the injustice!”) However, whatever the argument may have descended into within the dark confines of X does not remove the core of the “issue”. Whoopi is right that art is subjective, so therefore it is obviously dependent on the individual whether or not they believe that Miss Gerwig and Miss Robbie were each “snubbed”. Since I haven’t seen every film up for contention in Best Director and Best Actress, I can’t say what my opinion on that particular topic is, but I thought that Gerwig and Robbie both did very respectable jobs in their roles (the fancy way of saying, “they were good!”). However, I think a lot of the criticism directed towards the Academy doesn’t take in the whole picture and is thus unfair. A) As already stated, art is subjective, and these were Mr. Oscar’s personal decisions; B) Gerwig and Robbie have both been nominated before in the categories in which they were “snubbed” this year; C) Gerwig and Robbie are both additionally nominated for the film in different categories this year, Gerwig for Best Adapted Screenplay as a screenwriter alongside her husband Noah Baumbach, and Robbie for Best Picture as a producer; D) The “snubs” don’t indicate the Oscars to be misogynistic, since Robbie was left out of a category made up of 100% women (it’s called Best Actress, people!) and Gerwig arguably lost out her nomination to Justine Triet, another female director; E) Their movie was still nominated for eight awards, including Best Picture! There’s no reason not to dance the night away!

Well, I delved deeper into that than I desired. Alas, that’s often how it goes on Planet Whiz Kid, known colloquially as my brainchild, however mentally scarring that may be for the reader. So, to prevent my descension into yet another subject, let’s, as the kids say, move on. (However, for any more hot takes from Whiz Kid, comment below! Think of the most contentious, thorny, loathed issue imaginable! Actually, no, bad idea.)

This year’s Oscars is particularly exciting given how good of a year it was for cinema! While it was certainly hit-or-miss at the box office (just get back up on that horse, Disney), the hits were like a Fresh- Prince-level slap across the face! Any leftover films that were postponed due to COVID finally made it to the big screen (or maybe Max, if you’re being distributed by Warner Bros.). Obviously there was the juggernaut known as Barbenheimer, which dominated both money-ly back in July and now awards-ly here in March. (Again, I’m basically just doing Dictionary.com’s job for them.) Plus, with a string of other successes and some top-notch film festival debuts, 2023 was a gain for the film industry! Although, to reiterate, most of that was because of an existential doll and the atomic bomb inventor. Who knew that Oppenheimer’s accomplishments would reverberate almost eighty years after World War II in the form of helping Universal Pictures gain back their losses from Fast X? . . . .

With the abundance of entertainment that pleased each type of moviegoer, this enthusiasm should reflect itself in the Oscars ratings this year. (ABC is just praying that they mentioned enough times Barbenheimer being up for plenty of awards.) So, my first final prediction of this post will not be in regards to an Academy Award winner, but a Nielsen winner! (I’m guessing 60% for the “I Get It” accuracy on that mediocre joke.) My guess for this year’s Oscars’ average viewer count is 23.4 million, almost the same amount as the last pre-pandemic show in February of 2020.

Alright, with all of that rather unnecessary pre-prediction information out of the way, it’s time to move on to Whiz Kid’s Final 2024 Ballot. Oscars ballot, not presidential. The latter would not be as fun.

The Ballot

The Shorts

Best Documentary – Short Subject

  • And the Nominees Are: The ABCs of Book Banning; The Barber of Little Rock; Island in Between; The Last Repair Shop; Nǎi Nai & Wài Pó
  • Who Will Win: The Last Repair Shop
  • Who Should Win: The Last Repair Shop
  • Who Could Win: The ABCs of Book Banning

By the way, this year’s “Who Should Win” picks are not my personal opinion, but rather the general consensus I see across the all-knowing web. We’re getting right down to business starting with this category, and it was a bit of a tough call this time since I originally had The ABCs of Book Banning down to win. But reading about the actual heartwarming storyline behind The Last Repair Shop (No way I’m summarizing it here, look it up yourself!), and seeing how popular it is overall, changed my mind. Plus, it’s won a handful of awards that could help propel it to Oscar victory.

Best Live Action Short Film

  • And the Nominees Are: The After; Invincible; Knight of Fortune; Red, White and Blue; The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar
  • Who Will Win: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar
  • Who Should Win: The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar
  • Who Could Win: The After

Zoinks! Another category that turned out harder to predict than I suspected it would. Auteur Wes Anderson’s The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar, based off the Roald Dahl book, is definitely the popular pick to take home the Oscar, but anything is possible given the presence of the more solemn short film The After, which has picked up quite a few accolades. (Red, White and Blue, meanwhile, shouldn’t win because it brazenly lacks the Oxford comma.) However, GoldDerby and its five reasons to believe TWSOHS will win pushed me to believe in the power of Wes and Roald! (Sounds like an ’80s duo.) As the site mentioned, TWSOHS, which is a Netflix original, is likely the most viewed of all five shorts, the voters might see it as an opportunity to award the currently Oscar-less Wes Anderson, and it stars an impressive cast including Benedict Cumberbatch, Ralph Fiennes, Ben Kingsley, and Dev Patel, all previous Academy Award nominees or winners. On the contrary, as Peter Bradshaw of The Guardian points out, this category is often viewed as a chance to award newcomers to the filmmaking profession, not directors with seven previous nods. It’s every nominee for himself, so anything is possible, but I’m sticking with Mr. Henry Sugar!

Best Animated Short Film

  • And the Nominees Are: Letter to a Pig; Ninety-Five Senses; Our Uniform; Pachyderme; War Is Over! Inspired by the Music of John & Yoko
  • Who Will Win: Letter to a Pig
  • Who Should Win: War Is Over! Inspired by the Music of John & Yoko
  • Who Could Win: War Is Over! Inspired by the Music of John & Yoko

Darn you, Oscar-nominated shorts! Yet again, I underestimated the stresses of choosing a winner for Best Animated Short Film! In 2022, this was the single category that I lost out on, raising the stakes for last year, in which I successfully predicted The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse. Which avenue will I go down this year? War Is Over! seems like the mildly obvious pick at first; many enjoy the music of John and Yoko, and it has a unique animation style. However, this could be the Academy’s opening to pick an artsy, non-mainstream short that doesn’t boast big names, unlike Henry Sugar in the Live Action grouping. Plus, Pixar’s Once Upon a Studio, celebrating Disney’s centennial anniversary, was projected by many to win at first, and it didn’t even receive a nomination. That could illustrate where this voting body’s tastes lay: in bacon! I’m going for Letter to a Pig! (Unless I change it at the last minute, of course, which is completely allowed!)

The Technicals

Best Visual Effects

  • And the Nominees Are: The Creator (Jay Cooper, Ian Comley, Andrew Roberts, and Neil Corbould); Godzilla Minus One (Takashi Yamazaki, Kiyoko Shibuya, Masaki Takahashi, and Tatsuji Nojima); Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 (Stéphane Ceretti, Alexis Wajsbrot, Guy Williams, and Theo Bialek); Mission: Impossible – Dead Reckoning (Alex Wuttke, Simone Coco, Jeff Sutherland, and Neil Corbould); Napoleon (Charley Henley, Luc-Ewen Martin-Fenouillet, Simone Coco, and Neil Corbould)
  • Who Will Win: The Creator
  • Who Should Win: The Creator or Godzilla Minus One
  • Who Could Win: Godzilla Minus One
  • Honorable Mentions: Oppenheimer; Poor Things; Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

(Thanks for hogging the spotlight with your unseemly three nominations, Mr. Neil Corbould! How dare you!)

Yes, we might as well get all the hard predictions out of the way first. (Spoiler alert: there’s more than I realized.) This is a rare category wherein any of the five nominees could prevail. When Oppenheimer shockingly and bizarrely didn’t even make it onto the shortlist of twenty potential nominees, it became anyone’s game, particularly when Oppenheimer later won the Critics’ Choice Award for Best Visual Effects and Poor Things won Best Special Visual Effects at the BAFTAs. This is the first Oscar nomination for both the Godzilla and Mission: Impossible franchises, both of which had their own incredible cinematic outings this year. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3 features stunning and weird sci-fi visuals, some of the MCU’s best to date. Napoleon could be popular with those who voted for the winner 1917 a few years ago with its intense war scenes. But it’s The Creator that I think could end up taking home the trophy, thanks mainly to a second surprise nomination for Best Sound (indicating more voters have paid attention to the film than the snobs at IndieWire thought) and also a dominant run at the Visual Effects Society Awards, which are important tell signs for this category. Anyone, specifically Godzilla, could still swoop in, so judge for yourself . . . but also listen to me only. The Creator has it!

Best Sound

  • And the Nominees Are: Seen Above
  • Who Will Win: Oppenheimer
  • Who Should Win: The Zone of Interest
  • Who Could Win: The Zone of Interest
  • Honorable Mentions: Barbie; Ferrari; Killers of the Flower Moon

Oh, gosh. This is the one I’ve dreaded. And we’re already here! I suppose it’s time to rip off the Band-Aid. (This post is not sponsored by Band-Aids.) For the longest time, I very confidently asserted The Zone of Interest as the winner, but I’m doing a last-minute pivot to Oppenheimer. Why? War films often get wins at the Oscars, and while Oppenheimer isn’t necessarily a “war film”, it is a Christopher Nolan film. The Dark Knight, Inception, Interstellar, and Dunkirk, all Nolan films, have won at least one sound award (back when this category was split into Sound Editing and Sound Mixing). While The Zone of Interest is extremely sound-based, and probably should win, it failed to rack up many nominations in the technical categories, including Best Production Design, Best Cinematography, Best Film Editing, and Best Original Score. It did win Best Sound at the BAFTAs, but Oppenheimer did very well at the Golden Reel and Cinema Audio Society Awards, so that is my very uncertain pick. If, however, The Zone of Interest does win this category, I will fall into a deep depression.

Best Makeup & Hairstyling

  • And the Nominees Are: Seen Above
  • Who Will Win: Maestro
  • Who Should Win: Maestro
  • Who Could Win: Poor Things
  • Honorable Mentions: Barbie; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; Killers of the Flower Moon

Grr . . . the BAFTAs just have to make everything harder, don’t they?! Maestro seemed like a sure winner at first thanks to the transformation of Bradley Cooper into famed conductor Leonard Bernstein, plus its unique hairstyling throughout the decades it takes place in. And then Barbie, which didn’t make it onto the shortlist, won Best Makeup at the Critics’ Choice Awards (CCAs), and Poor Things at the BAFTAs. But let’s remember that Poor Things was overly popular with the BAFTAs, winning Best Special Visual Effects despite not earning an Oscar nomination in that equivalent category. Although there was a decent amount of controversy when a first look image of Maestro revealed a prosthetic nose applied to Cooper, that seems to have dwindled by now, at least diffusing enough to allow the film to win two critical awards at the Makeup & Hairstylists Guild Awards. Those wins, plus a general voting appeal to Oscar members for the film’s era-specific effects, should push Netflix’s Oscar-baity biopic to earn at least one of the awards it was made to seek.

Best Production Design

  • And the Nominees Are: Seen Above
  • Who Will Win: Barbie
  • Who Should Win: Barbie or Poor Things
  • Who Could Win: Poor Things
  • Honorable Mentions: Asteroid City; Maestro

Again, I blame the BAFTAs. Barbie took the CCA, Poor Things took the BAFTA. Which side are you on? I’m going with the former, thanks both to its purely colorful set design and a little year called 2018. Ever heard of it? Well, in 2018, both Black Panther and The Favourite were released, and Oscar-nominated the following year in Best Production Design. The Favourite was the favorite to win (hilarious, see what I did?), but Black Panther prevailed and pulled out the win. Black Panther won the CCA, The Favourite won the BAFTA. Black Panther featured grand sets with unique color palettes, while The Favourite sported a subtler, intricately detailed look. And the final twist: The Favourite was a Yorgos Lanthimos film, just like Poor Things!

Okay, it might not be on that level of shock, but nonetheless, the case is compelling! Ken will be proud when his Mojo Dojo Case House wins Barbie an Oscar.

Best Costume Design

  • And the Nominees Are: Barbie (Jacqueline Durran); Killers of the Flower Moon (Jacqueline West); Napoleon (Janty Yates and Dave Crossman); Oppenheimer (Ellen Mirojnick); Poor Things (Holly Waddington)
  • Who Will Win: Barbie
  • Who Should Win: Barbie
  • Who Could Win: Poor Things
  • Honorable Mentions: Maestro; Wonka

Ken will also be proud when his lavish costumes when Barbie another Oscar. The exact five nominees return from Production Design, and it seems very likely that the same film will share wins in both Production and Costume Design, so unless I just copy and paste my Production Design argument for Barbie, that’s all I’ve got! (Mic drop.)

Best Cinematography

  • And the Nominees Are: Seen Above
  • Who Will Win: Oppenheimer
  • Who Should Win: Oppenheimer
  • Who Could Win: Poor Things
  • Honorable Mentions: Barbie; Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3; The Holdovers; The Zone of Interest

Okay, finally an obvious category! Hoyte van Hoytema has won CCA, BAFTA, and ASC awards for his stunning cinematography in Oppenheimer. From BnW (the trendy way of saying “black-and-white”) to color, intimate moments to physics spectacle, and that Trinity Test scene alone, all shot using an IMAX camera, Oscar has given Mr. Hoytema his stamp of approval!

Best Film Editing

  • And the Nominees Are: Seen Above
  • Who Will Win: Oppenheimer
  • Who Should Win: Anatomy of a Fall or Oppenheimer
  • Who Could Win: Anatomy of a Fall
  • Honorable Mentions: Barbie; Maestro; The Zone of Interest

Like Hoyte van Hoytema, Oppenheimer editor Jennifer Lame did the impossible: piece together a three-hour biopic about the atomic bomb told from various perspectives, taking place over several timelines, and moving along at a rapid pace. Count on her to be up onstage!

Best Original Song

  • And the Nominees Are: “The Fire Inside” from Flamin’ Hot (music & lyrics by Diane Warren, sung by Becky G); “I’m Just Ken” from Barbie (music & lyrics by Mark Ronson & Andrew Wyatt, sung by Ryan Gosling); “It Never Went Away” from American Symphony (music & lyrics by Jon Batiste & Dan Wilson, sung by Jon Batiste); “Wahzhazhe (A Song for My People)” (music & lyrics by Scott George, sung by Scott George and The Osage Singers); “What Was I Made For?” from Barbie (music & lyrics by Billie Eilish & Finneas O’Connell, sung by Billie Eilish)
  • Who Will Win: “What Was I Made For?”
  • Who Should Win: “I’m Just Ken”
  • Who Could Win: “I’m Just Ken”
  • Honorable Mentions: “Dance the Night” from Barbie; “Peaches” from The Super Mario Bros. Movie; “Road to Freedom” from Rustin

Either way, Barbie‘s got it. Billie Eilish and her brother Finneas O’Connell won in this category two years ago for their song “No Time to Die” from . . . No Time to Die. Subtle. Well, at least they didn’t title their song “Barbie” this time, but they’ve still won a Golden Globe and Grammy for their work on the melancholy tune. “I’m Just Ken” (an unexpectedly great power ballad) nabbed the CCA, but the onstage Kenergy will stop when the more downbeat Barbie song wins. (Obviously I’m not biased at all.) Expect Billie and Finneas (Billeas . . . Fillie?) to be some of the night’s final winners.

Best Original Score

  • And the Nominees Are: American Fiction (Laura Karpman); Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny (John Williams); Killers of the Flower Moon (Robbie Robertson); Oppenheimer (Ludwig Göransson); Poor Things (Jerskin Fendrix)
  • Who Will Win: Oppenheimer
  • Who Should Win: Oppenheimer
  • Who Could Win: Killers of the Flower Moon
  • Honorable Mentions: Barbie

It seems that all the easy categories are simply dominated by Oppenheimer. Ludwig Göransson’s stunning and characteristically erratic score will quite conceivably win him his second Oscar, but don’t entirely count out the late and great Robbie Robertson clinching an upset for his final film score.

The Features

Best Documentary Feature

  • And the Nominees Are: 20 Days in Mariupol; Bobi Wine: The People’s President; The Eternal Memory; Four Daughters; To Kill a Tiger
  • Who Will Win: 20 Days in Mariupol
  • Who Should Win: 20 Days in Mariupol
  • Who Could Win: To Kill a Tiger
  • Honorable Mentions: American Symphony; Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie

Despite American Symphony getting a nod for Best Original Song and also winning at the Producers Guild of America Awards (PGAs), and Still: A Michael J. Fox Movie garnering acclaim and a CCA, they were both omitted on nomination day. So, we go to the next most likely winner, 20 Days in Mariupol, a stirring and bleak overview depicting the early days of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine. Last year, Navalny won in this category, and with tragic recent events making that win all the more timely, it appears that documentaries about Russia will achieve back-to-back victories.

Best International Feature

  • And the Nominees Are: Io Capitano (Italy); Perfect Days (Japan); Society of the Snow (Spain); The Teachers’ Lounge (Germany); The Zone of Interest (Germany)
  • Who Will Win: The Zone of Interest
  • Who Should Win: The Zone of Interest
  • Who Could Win: Society of the Snow
  • Honorable Mentions: Anatomy of a Fall (France); Fallen Leaves (Finland); The Taste of Things (France)

Many awards pundits have mused about what this category could have been like had France submitted Anatomy of a Fall instead of The Taste of Things for their International Feature pick, thus leading to an intense showdown between AOAF and The Zone of Interest, a British film in German subtitles. (Complicated, huh?) But thanks to this being the sixth consecutive year in which one International Feature nominee is also in the running for Best Picture, simple logic will conclude that The Zone of Interest will be triumphant.

Best Animated Feature

  • And the Nominees Are: The Boy and the Heron; Elemental; Nimona; Robot Dreams; Spider-Man: Acorss the Spider-Verse
  • Who Will Win: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
  • Who Should Win: Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse
  • Who Could Win: The Boy and the Heron
  • Honorable Mentions: The Super Mario Bros. Movie; Suzume; Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem

In a mildly tough race, it seems that the second installment in the Spider-Verse saga edges out Hayao Miyazaki’s (seemingly) final film about what I can only presume is a boy and a heron. Miyazaki’s acclaimed piece won at the Golden Globes and the BAFTAs, with Spider-Verse gaining momentum with CCA and PGA wins. But with Spider-Verse achieving as much, if not more, popularity than its Oscar-winning predecessor, I wouldn’t bet against it. Actually, don’t bet on any of my predictions. That’s too much pressure! DON’T DO IT!

The Screenplays

Best Adapted Screenplay

  • And the Nominees Are: American Fiction (Cord Jefferson, based on the novel “Erasure” by Percival Everett); Barbie (Noah Baumach & Greta Gerwig, based on characters by Ruth Handler); Oppenheimer (Christopher Nolan, based on the biography “American Prometheus: The Triumph and Tragedy of J. Robert Oppenheimer” by Kai Bird & Martin J. Sherwin); Poor Things (Tony McNamara, based on the novel of the same name by Alasdair Gray); The Zone of Interest (Jonathan Glazer, based on the novel of the same name by Martin Amis)
  • Who Will Win: American Fiction
  • Who Should Win: Oppenheimer
  • Who Could Win: Oppenheimer
  • Honorable Mentions: Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret.; Killers of the Flower Moon

Whoever guessed that the inventor of Barbie would ever receive an indirect Oscar nomination? I guess anything is possible. (Except Arnold Schwarzenegger getting nominated at some point. That’s sci-fi-level stuff.) This category has been an interesting one to track, from Barbie switching from Original Screenplay to Adapted Screenplay shortly before nomination voting, and Killers of the Flower Moon getting snub-smacked. (Another new Whiz Kid term!) For awhile, I figured Poor Things could grab this one, but then American Fiction won the CCA, and secured its lead with a very surprising win at the BAFTAs, winning Best Adapted Screenplay besides that being the sole category it was up for. But with a somewhat lack of complete momentum going for American Fiction, any of the nominees could snatch a win, though Oppenheimer‘s awards love puts it in second place. However, don’t make the mistake of thinking this one through too much, or you’ll land yourself in the nearest “happy place”. Just go for the commended comedy American Fiction!

Best Original Screenplay

  • And the Nominees Are: Anatomy of a Fall (Arthur Harari & Justine Triet); The Holdovers (David Hemingson); Maestro (Bradley Cooper & Josh Singer); May December (screenplay by Samy Burch, story by Samy Burch & Alex Mechanik); Past Lives (Celine Song)
  • Who Will Win: Anatomy of a Fall
  • Who Should Win: The Holdovers or Past Lives
  • Who Could Win: The Holdovers
  • Honorable Mention: Air

Like Adapted Screenplay, there’s another somewhat lack of major enthusiasm for any of this set’s nominees. The Holdovers was the very early favorite, projected to win this category pre-Golden Globes, before Anatomy of a Fall unexpectedly picked up the Golden Globe for Best Screenplay and then, on the flip side, expectedly seizing the BAFTA for Best Original Screenplay. It’s a German courtroom murder mystery; come on, of course it’s going to win an Oscar!

The Stars

Best Supporting Actress

  • And the Nominees Are: Emily Blunt, Oppenheimer; Danielle Brooks, The Color Purple; America Ferrera, Barbie; Jodie Foster, Nyad; Da’Vine Joy Randolph, The Holdovers
  • Who Will Win: Da’Vine Joy Randolph
  • Who Should Win: Da’Vine Joy Randolph
  • Who Could Win: Da’Vine Joy Randolph has won over fifty-five awards, come on!
  • Honorable Mentions: Penélope Cruz, Ferrari; Sandra Hüller, Anatomy of a Fall; Julianne Moore, May December

There’s no need to talk any more about this. Miss Da’Vine has won a Golden Globe, BAFTA, CCA, SAG, Independent Spirit Award, Satellite Award, and several more. No need to fret on this one.

Best Supporting Actor

  • And the Nominees Are: Sterling K. Brown, American Fiction; Robert De Niro, Killers of the Flower Moon; Robert Downey Jr., Oppenheimer; Ryan Gosling, Barbie; Mark Ruffalo, Poor Things
  • Who Will Win: RDJ
  • Who Should Win: RDJ or Ryan Gosling
  • Who Could Win: I’m not giving into my own mandatory answers! It’s RDJ!
  • Honorable Mentions: Willem Dafoe, Poor Things; Charles Melton, May December; Dominic Sessa, The Holdovers

It’s been fifteen shameful years since Robert Downey Jr. has received an Oscar nomination. Given the Academy’s flagrant crime of not giving the film icon any recognition for his MCU role as Tony Stark, it’s about goshdang time they give him credit for another amazing role! Apologies, I get rather profane when I’m upset.

Best Actor

  • And the Nominees Are: Bradley Cooper, Maestro; Colman Domingo, Rustin; Paul Giamatti, The Holdovers; Cillian Murphy, Oppenheimer; Jeffrey Wright, American Fiction
  • Who Will Win: Cillian Murphy
  • Who Should Win: Paul Giamatti or Cillian Murphy
  • Who Could Win: Paul Giamatti
  • Who Really, Really, Really Wants to Win: Bradley Cooper
  • Honorable Mentions: Leonardo DiCaprio, Killers of the Flower Moon; Joaquin Phoenix, Napoleon

I won’t even mention Bradley Cooper’s Oscar campaign that virtually started as soon as Maestro‘s first picture was released. I sincerely hope the Academy gives the man an Academy Award at some point in the near future; he doesn’t even have to get nominated, they don’t have to vote or anything, just locate an Oscar backstage and hand it to him. He’s already booked his next directing/acting gig, so I fear what awards aftermath will happen once that releases. But Brad aside, this was a race that looked like a potential shootout at first. Murphy and Giamatti both won Golden Globes, followed by Giamatti’s unexpected victory at the CCAs. Murphy, as widely predicted, took the BAFTA, so it came down to the Screen Actors Guild Awards, which have become the key awards in terms of projecting the Oscar acting winners over the past few years. All eight film acting SAG winners over the last two years have been the same eight to win the Oscar within that timespan, as well. While many, including me, suspected Giamatti to win the SAG (he had won thrice before), it was Murphy who ultimately came out on top, carrying what appears to be a twelve-foot-high, three-hundred pound trophy back home in Ireland. With Oppenheimer in for a big night, that will spread to Murphy’s brilliant performance as the titular physicist, as well.

Best Actress

  • And the Nominees Are: Annette Bening, Nyad; Lily Gladstone, Killers of the Flower Moon; Sandra Hüller, Anatomy of a Fall; Carey Mulligan, Maestro; Emma Stone, Poor Things
  • Who Will Win: *dramatic drum roll* (if there is such a thing) . . .
  • . . . Emma Stone
  • Who Should Win: Lily Gladstone or Emma Stone
  • Who Could Win: Lily Gladstone
  • Honorable Mentions: Fantasia Barrino, The Color Purple; Greta Lee, Past Lives; Margot Robbie, Barbie

In what has become the most hotly debated race of this Oscar season, I am boldly, and surprisingly semi-confidently, proclaiming Emma Stone as the winner! Unless she loses. Then I’ll come back and edit this post to make it seem like I predicted Lily Gladstone all along. Some background first: both stones (whether glad or regular) won Golden Globes in separate categories, then regular Stone won a CCA and a BAFTA, and Gladstone’s last-ditch effort to win the SAG worked. I know I just said that SAG is basically the end-all-be-all of the acting categories, but . . . I can’t think of a good comeback to that.

Here’s the case for Stone’s win: Poor Things wasn’t exceedingly popular with SAG, failing to earn an Ensemble nomination, while Killers of the Flower Moon did (though it lost to Oppenheimer, of course). Five years ago, Olivia Colman won in a major upset for Best Actress in The Favourite, another Yorgos Lanthimos film, as previously mentioned. Gladstone’s Flower Moon role is a split between leading and supporting, while Stone seems to be the center around which Poor Things revolves. Plus, the Academy loves a grand, physically-based performance. Many are comparing this scenario to last year’s, in which previous Oscar-winner Cate Blanchett (who won a Golden Globe, CCA, and BAFTA for Tár) was in an extremely tight race with eventual victor Michelle Yeoh (who won a Golden Globe and SAG for Everything Everywhere All at Once), but there’s a few differences. First, Everything Everywhere was extremely popular with the Academy, winning seven awards, but Poor Things doesn’t seem to have that momentum. Second, Gladstone wasn’t even nominated for a BAFTA, unlike Yeoh. Third, while Everything Everywhere All features an ensemble cast, Yeoh’s character is still very much the main character, like Stone’s and not Gladstone’s.

So that is my official justification for my pick of Emma Stone! Hopefully I’m correct; otherwise, I just wasted a bunch of wrist energy.

The Last One Before Best Picture

Best Director

  • And the Nominees Are: Jonathan Glazer, The Zone of Interest; Yorgos Lanthimos, Poor Things; Christopher Nolan, Oppenheimer; Martin Scorsese, Killers of the Flower Moon; Justine Triet, Anatomy of a Fall
  • Who Will Win: Christopher Nolan
  • Who Should Win: Christopher Nolan
  • Who Could Win: Yorgos Lanthimos
  • Honorable Mentions: Bradley Cooper, Maestro; Greta Gerwig, Barbie; Alexander Payne, The Holdovers; Celine Song, Past Lives

Similar to a few other major nominees this year, Nolan has won practically every award imaginable for his masterful directorial achievements in helming Oppenheimer, a story about the nuclear bomb’s development that became one of his greatest works and what some are already calling a major cinematic standout in the 21st century. While there were several great directing contenders this year, including those who weren’t nominated, Nolan has rightfully earned his first Academy Award after somehow only one previous nomination (for his other fantastic World War II piece, Dunkirk). With an impressive catalogue including Memento, The Dark Knight trilogy, The Prestige, Inception, and Interstellar, Nolan is one of the best filmmakers working today, and an Oscar will only affirm that.

The Big One

Best Picture

  • And the Nominees Are:
  • American Fiction
  • Anatomy of a Fall
  • Barbie
  • The Holdovers
  • Killers of the Flower Moon
  • Maestro
  • Oppenheimer
  • Past Lives
  • Poor Things
  • The Zone of Interest
  • Who Will Win: Oppenheimer (or, more bluntly, duh!)
  • Who Should Win: Oppenheimer
  • Who Could Win: Poor Things or Anatomy of a Fall
  • Honorable Mentions: Air; The Color Purple

It’s an Oscar tradition for me to sit at my keyboard, going back and forth between two different possible films that could win Best Picture, much to the agony of the reader. Not this year. It’s been awhile since something has absolutely swept every influential awards ceremony like Oppenheimer. Winning several categories, including the top prizes, at the Golden Globes, CCAs, BAFTAs, DGAs, SAGs, and PGAs, there’s almost zero percent chance that the historical epic won’t win. Unless something were to pull off a Shakespeare in Love-style upset, Oppenheimer is as safe as Private Ryan. (Or was he safe? Haven’t seen it yet.) Normally the awards-sweeper film is the villain of Oscar season, but not Oppie. It’s a film widely acclaimed by both critics and audiences, and rightfully so. It’s a monumental, stunning, grand, emotional work of art, and it is the Best Picture of the year. (At least that I’ve seen. I’m not in the hundreds yet like the Academy members.)

So, there are my official, probably final predictions for the 96th Academy Awards! Thank you for reading, and don’t forget to watch the Oscars, hosted by Jimmy Kimmel, airing on ABC at a new time, 7:00 P.M. ET. Wish I could say I’ll see you there, but the Academy has yet to invite me. How ill-mannered!

Until then, best of luck on your ballot, and I’ll see you next time!

Whiz Kid out

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Up Next on PWK: 2024 Oscars Ballot https://planetwhizkid.com/2024/03/up-next-on-pwk-2024-oscars-ballot/ https://planetwhizkid.com/2024/03/up-next-on-pwk-2024-oscars-ballot/#comments Mon, 04 Mar 2024 19:25:19 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=883
2024 Oscars: Date, Host, Nominees, How To Watch, Movie Reviews & Who'll Win

(Cue the theme song to 2001: A Space Odyssey.) It’s coming. It’s near. Not the Academy Awards themselves, but the projections that precede them. Prepare yourself for the life-altering, PWK-exclusive commentary by the one they call the Prediction Prodigy. The acclaimed soothsayer returns with his final predictions. Don’t forget to arrive back at Planet Whiz Kid this week for an extraordinary experience that will supersede your understanding of the known world. Get ready.

Wow, whoever penned that magnificent and flattering promotion, thank you very much! I certainly didn’t write it, I’m not that self-congratulatory; but somebody is sure impressed with my Oscar winner predictions record. Very impressed. I’m sure the anonymous writer (who was not me) meant every single word of that monologue. How embarrassing!

Anyway, while I may be the foremost subject of that lavish soliloquy, take the supplied advice to heart: come back later this week for my final predictions for this year’s Oscars! I’m more determined than ever to hit that beautiful 100% mark on my ballot; though perhaps not quite as driven as Bradley Cooper and his seemingly never-ending quest to get his hands on that gold statue, no matter how Oscar-baity and mildly deranged his films and performances may become in the process. I’d say the strength and potency of my motivation is more Lily- Gladstone-level (if the reference doesn’t click, just wait until you see an Apple TV+ campaign ad for her performance, and you’ll understand).

So take interstellar travel back to Planet Whiz Kid for my final predictions before the Oscars air on ABC this coming Sunday. See you then! (Except for those of you in my Oscar pool, who are forbade/forbidden to let my post influence your own predictions, which would constitute a strict violation of Article 4, Section B!)

Whiz Kid out

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Quick Post: Martin Luther King Jr. Day 2024 https://planetwhizkid.com/2024/01/quick-post-martin-luther-king-jr-day-2024/ https://planetwhizkid.com/2024/01/quick-post-martin-luther-king-jr-day-2024/#comments Tue, 16 Jan 2024 03:14:23 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=868

Well, here we are again! We somehow made it to 2024, which means that I was contractually obligated to pen (or rather type) my annual MLK Day post. So join Planet Whiz Kid on its 5th Annual King Celebration! (Not intended for Charles.)

Today we’ll be taking a quick peek at the three biggest events that Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. helped shape as a result of his civil rights advocacy. Dr. King first came into the national spotlight in 1955, and continually devoted his gifts of public speaking and domestic influence to the righteous cause of equality until his tragic death in 1968.

So, with Dr. King’s unprecedented legacy in mind, let’s look at the top trailblazing and history-shifting occurrences in the United States that were championed by the peacemaker himself.

3. Widespread Desegregation

The Supreme Court case Brown v. Board of Education is viewed as one of the most significant landmark cases in judicial history. The Warren Court’s unanimous 1954 ruling that declared racial segregation in public schools unconstitutional was only the beginning, however. Black people were still unjustly forced to sit at the back of the bus, sleep in separate hotels, and use “Colored” restrooms. The humiliating Jim Crow laws slowly faded away throughout the ’50s and ’60s thanks to the greatly influential Montgomery Bus Boycott led by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. through 1955 and 1956. That of course began with Rosa Parks’ refusal to give up her seat on one of those very Alabama buses. Eventually, the segregation on Montgomery public buses was banned by a United States District Court, which marked progress in the trend of knocking down prejudiced laws. King’s organizing of the movement which lasted over a year marked his debut in the public eye and established him as a leading voice of activism; his influence had only just begun.

2. The Civil Rights & Voting Rights Acts

Fast-forward about a decade later to see LBJ sign the Civil Rights Act of 1964 and then the Voting Rights Act one year later. So what happened in between the Montgomery Bus Boycott and the passing of these massively consequential laws? Dr. King had been arrested several times (ironically for advocating peace), and his name had only grown in importance. He had given rousing, potent speeches that pointed exactly to what was wrong with the nation, and had been a victim of merciless attacks by the FBI. The Montgomery preacher was the key figure behind early 1960s civil rights events such as the Albany Movement, the Birmingham Campaign, and, perhaps most importantly, the March on Washington. When President John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963, Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson assumed the role of Commander-in-Chief and coordinated with Dr. King to pass legislation that would ensure complete civil equality. King’s political and social impact led to the Civil Rights Act of 1964, forbidding any type of discrimination in the United States based on race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. Not long after came the Voting Rights Act of 1965, a response to the Southern practice of mandating requirements such as literacy tests in order to vote; a clear attempt to disenfranchise black people. Where the CRA disallowed racial discrimination when it came to social actions, the VRA precluded racial discrimination when it came to voting. While LBJ was the one to make these laws happen federally, you can thank MLK for ultimately being the indirect author.

1. Altering the Course of Change

Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King Jr.’s legacy is one of peace, prosperity, and hope. As we as a nation continue marching towards his dream, we always remember his commitment to change society through nonviolent means. His words ring true yesterday, today, and tomorrow:

Enjoy the holiday, and keep in mind why we celebrate it. Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

Whiz Kid out

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Quick (and Belated) Post: Halloween 2023 https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/11/quick-and-belated-post-halloween-2023/ https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/11/quick-and-belated-post-halloween-2023/#comments Mon, 06 Nov 2023 01:02:23 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=860

Beware, readers! You are about to step through a doorway into the most terrifying, bloodcurdling, chilling, nightmarish, horrendous, spine-tingling, and (insert scary adjective here) realm possibly imagined by the human cerebrum. You shall experience fear, oh such dreadful fear. This eternal trepidation will consume you, twist your mind, and spawn an irreparable metamorphosis that demands you comply to every single of its radical transformations. In other words, you’re about to read a brief story. Yikes.

No need for concern, I am aware that All Hallow’s Eve has passed and we are now in the Christmas season. (According to Mariah Carey, at least.) However, I needed to continue my yearly tradition of writing a Halloween post, so better late than never! (An original phrase, PWK trademarked.)

Even if the story is later and shorter than usual this year, the time has come nonetheless: we must inevitably return to the continuing chronicle of our cursed Halloween monsters and their battle to possess the holiday itself. . . .

This year’s deadly chapter will resume the (usually) annual saga that has unfolded since 2016, which first developed on the old Planet Whiz Kid site (RIP). Following the events of 2019’s three-part installment, the first Halloween post on the revived PWK website, 2021 and 2022‘s “episodes” set up a new story while still continuing the old one.

Last year, I mentioned that my diabolical plan consisted of writing two additional parts to last year’s Halloween post before this year’s holiday came and then penning (or rather typing) the finale to the overarching story. Evidently, that did not happen. So instead, this post will serve as the prologue to the next part of the overall story. This next part, which will be released sometime early next year, will semi-conclude the volume that started in 2021, and next October’s Halloween article will include the final chapter. In other words, this year’s addition to the story will be more of a short introduction to the longer post debuting in early 2024. Make sense? It had better, cuz I’m not explaining it again!

With that in mind, let us proceed to the horrifying (but family-friendly!) story that awaits you . . .

Halloween: Part Six

Prologue

The Giza Desert, Egypt, 3:12 A.M. The Evening of October 31, 2021, 8:32 P.M. in the Central Time Zone (Halloween Night).

A man roams the heat-stricken wasteland. Clothed in Egyptian garb, the fifty-something Cairo resident is on an expedition to discover something: the truth.

Each year that the Western holiday known as “All Hallow’s Eve” approaches, rumors and speculation quietly float around the African country, making their way through whispers and raised eyebrows. And yet, their presence is frighteningly potent.

October folklore around the Cairo region maintains that within the Great Pyramids of Giza lies a former warlord; a revolutionary leader that claimed to harness the unprecedented ability of reviving those who were buried in those pyramids; a cultish figure born two millennia earlier who was revered, esteemed, and practically worshipped despite his violent temperament and a failed attempt to claim military supremacy over all domains of the earth – one that resulted in his ultimate demise.

Of course, this is all hearsay in the Middle Eastern nation. But somehow, these fables still arise annually, and they seem to grow in vigor – and the amount of fear they cause. Many of the citizens of Cairo have begun superstitious rituals and shuttered themselves in their homes from sunset to sunlight every October 31st. These individuals were initially dismissed as fringe conspiracy theorists, but the amount of closed blinds and locked doors on the mythical day have increased dramatically every year.

Hence, the voyager’s desert journey to prove these so-called fallacies true once and for all.

As the investigative researcher makes his way through the stifling sand kingdom, he sees in the distance the remote silhouette of a pyramid. He is close. Once there, this believer shall search for the tomb of the former emperor, photograph it, and alert the governmental authorities. Praise, pride, and a Nobel prize will (hopefully) result.

About two miles later, the man enters the overall pyramid region. He harshly lies down out of exhaustion, sprawling out on the uncomfortable, sandy ground. One thing is on his mind: water.

Poof.

As if his wishes suddenly transformed into reality, the man turns to his left and instantly spots a canteen. He struggles but is able to crawl over to the desired object and grab it: the item is not simply a figure of his imagination. Unscrewing the lid, he pours the sweet, satiating water into his mouth, relieving him of extreme dehydration.

After fulfilling his survival needs, the man rises himself and looks at the Great Pyramids. While slightly familiar (he has visited them twice before), they have lost none of their majesty. A magnificence that radiates around the world cannot be merely captured in text. Nor can it be fully grasped by the mind – comprehended, perhaps, yet loosely. It is an unobtainable magic.

As the detective-of-sorts starts towards the first pyramid, intending to observe it with great detail, he nearly jumps out of his galabia when he suddenly hears a voice close to his ear:

“Ya like them triangles?”

The man immediately whirls around: to his complete shock, there is someone now standing in front of him.

A puzzling figure to say the least, this mystery someone dons similar garments, plus a shepherd’s staff and a veil over the face. But under that mostly concealing veil lives a pair of purely sinister eyes, which pierce through the fabric in an unearthly sort of way.

The Egyptian researcher feels dread. What is this . . . creature? How did it appear out of literally nowhere? And what does it want?

As the man does not speak English, he utters in a way that manifests fright itself: “‘Anta! Min ‘anti? ‘Ayn yatun min?” (“You! Who are you? Where do you come from?”)

The creature smiles. Due to its hideous nature, this ghastly sight is also, unfortunately, visible from underneath its veil.

Then it abruptly launches into a faux comedy show. It skips around, dances with its shepherd’s staff, and even does a somersault (though a mediocre one at best). Then it speaks again, this time in a different language: “Mah-mah! Mey ‘aet da lazauna! ‘Yoomee! Poom-poom, sayda cloon. Saegolls ah cuhmen! Bisquick sahndawetchis!”

The researcher’s amygdala has dialed itself up significantly now. “Ratanatun! ‘Ant la tatahadath ean ‘alsinatina ‘ayuha al’ahmaq almudtaribi! Ashrah huduraka!” (“Gibberish! You speak not of our tongue, disturbed fool! Explain your presence!”)

Losing patience, the creature, to illustrate its point, casually bends down and pulls off his big toe. Yes, pulls it off. The creature displays it to the appalled man and roars with laughter at the look on his face: 100% terror.

Subsequently, the creature finally removes its veil to display its face: its disgusting, beastly, repulsive, sheet white, gluey, grotesque, absolutely inhuman face. As the cherry on top, it smiles, making a perfect exhibit of its rotten yellow teeth, and the Egyptian researcher passes out.

The deranged monster, as the only remaining conscious figure in the desert, somehow reattaches its toe and now feels free to unrobe itself from the unnecessary attire it wears. After relieving itself from the jibbah tied over its dishdasha, it makes visible further offensiveness to the eyes when it throws off its turban. This unveils its green, wild, untamed, frayed, and plainly hideous hair that protruded from its increasingly balding scalp. The creature takes in a breath and performs a sort of victory dance around its fainted opponent. Once it is satisfied with the amount of tongue-wiggling and Macarena-reenacting, it continues its mission: it approaches the middle and largest pyramid. This cannot be good.

Even though an entrance into the Great Pyramid is available, the mentally unbalanced clown doesn’t care. It backs up, gets into track-and-field form, and takes a run at the Ancient Wonder. The monster hurls itself toward its destination, finding itself high in the air, growing closer with every millisecond to its target. When the moment of make-or-break comes, it is the unhinged entity which has triumphed. The creature has broken through the wall of the sacred monument. Contact has been made.

Brushing some rubble off, the brute looks around, smiles that oh-so evil smile, and shouts to no one in particular, “Build yer shapes sturdier, Libyans!”

Clearly not aware of its erroneous knowledge of history, the creature begins its interior investigation utilizing a lantern, venturing through intricate mazes of hallways and peering into mysterious rooms. It takes over half-an-hour until the creature has navigated appropriately to his intended location. Using a sort of mental map, it finds its way into the eastern corner of the pyramid and stands staring at its final objective: a wall.

Just a wall. No markings, no directions, no signs whatsoever.

The beast ponders for a minute and then takes a view of his surroundings. Following a rather quick inspection, it notices an outlier in the dark shadows: a tablet.

The white-skinned, green-haired detective snatches said item and places it on the wall, pressing in for a few seconds. . . . It sticks.

Suddenly, an event that can only be described as supernatural wastes no time in happening. A powerful wind emits from the newly brightened tablet, blowing the instigator’s greasy hair back. Dust stirs up, rotating in formulated patterns around the area. Distant voices seem to sing in a harmonic, yet oddly oppressive, manner as drums beat to the tone of their opera. Ghostly whispers fill the room and groups of sand blow into peculiar shapes. But then the strangest of occurrences makes its presence known.

In an abrupt manner, the entire pyramid seems to literally tilt. Abandoning all laws of physics, the massive object almost feels like it moves itself and stands on one of its points.

And here’s where the crazy comes in.

The Great Giza Pyramid now whirls around. Indeed, the thirteen-billion-pound masterpiece stands on its tip and spins around at an unprecedented rate of speed. The ghoul inside could feel this, but he’s used to not-so-normal happenings: he simply finds it an amusing ride.

Once done twirling itself for about half a minute, the pyramid floats.

Floats.

The pyramid levitates above the ground which it has remained on for thousands of years.

This is still just an average encounter for the frightening figure who triggered it.

A similar consequence plagues the items inside the grand monolith. Sand and dirt find themselves airborne as the monstrous joker treats the terrifying effect like an antigravity machine, playfully moving around, cackling, and performing bizarre physical movements that should surely severely impact any single viewer.

Swiftly, everything comes crashing down. The Great Pyramid has reset itself.

The tablet falls off the wall, as well.

Almost instantly after the artifact drops from its position, ancient Egyptian drawings slowly appear on the wall, illustrating detailed – and disturbing – pictures of wrapped bodies emerging from their sarcophagi, thousands lurching towards a single something. . . .

A warlord. The very center of the art depicts a bruised, brutal, brutish boss conjuring some sort of spell. The prophecy that never came true.

A name is scribbled underneath the main character: Imhotep.

Just as the monster reads this, two hands suddenly and violently jut out of the wall and begin pulling open a concealed doorway into the room which the monster resides.

Age-old, yellow-tainted linen wraps these long, bony limbs which continue to forge open an entrance. After straining for a few more seconds, the doorway has been opened . . . for the first time in centuries.

Silence. The newly available room is so dark that the creature can’t see into it. Normally such a situation would be unbearably tense, but this creature has journeyed through various expeditions of the same nature.

However, what happens next is rather unexpected. The creature sees a silhouette rapidly approaching and then feels a forceful hand around its neck. The creature is choked and lifted high in the air by the unknown figure, whom is still not visible do to the creature’s current uncomfortable position.

The creature is subsequently, and forcefully, thrown across the room at an energy never before felt. It fiercely hits a wall and crashes to the ground, immediately yelling out, “WAIT! It is I, the Great Coleopteran!” It looks up at the bearer of these words.

It is Imhotep. The Mummy.

And he has just made his exodus through way of Beetlejuice.

As a final word, Happy Halloween, Merry Christmas, whatever! I hope you enjoyed the quick overdue story I put together, and there’ll be more coming your way next year . . .

. . . plus maybe a holiday post or two still this year.

Thanks for reading! And Happy November!

Whiz Kid out

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Final Predictions: 95th Academy Awards https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/03/final-predictions-95th-academy-awards/ https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/03/final-predictions-95th-academy-awards/#comments Sun, 12 Mar 2023 22:51:19 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=816

They’re back! After a year off the air, one of Hollywood’s biggest awards ceremonies has returned to TV ready to pass out trophies to film and television, with a brand new host at the center of it. Two Murphys (Eddie and Ryan) will be picking up honorary accolades, and there’ll no doubt be talk of the controversy swirling around the awards show. But, with a spot back on NBC and plenty of exciting contenders, the 80th installment of this iconic annual special is sure to be captivating!

Oops. That was my unpublished Golden Globes opener from January. Now I don’t feel like rewriting it for the Oscars. Looks like we’ll just have to deal with it.

(BTW, this year’s Globes was not an engrossing spectacle of film and television wrapped up in an impressive display of humor and wit – it was, in a word, mediocre.)

Today, I will be submitting my final, liable-to-change predictions for this year’s Academy Awards. (Oxymoron?) And while there’s going to be plenty to debate (with myself, of course, as the only editor of this post), first allow me a moment to preview the 95th Academy Awards and provide the “origin story” of the 2023 ceremony.

First: last year’s Oscars. How do you define the 94th Academy Awards? Perhaps: unique . . . different . . . varied . . . hostful. (From the Greek for “featuring hosts” – probably.) But none of these adjectives are compliments, per se. Those of you who read last year’s Oscars post will know that I certainly was not a fan of the ceremony held in 2021. I believe words such as “anticlimactic”, “small”, and, perhaps most bluntly, “the worst” were thrown around. But, I can confirm that the 2022 Oscars were indeed an improvement. Thanks to enjoyable winners, lively presenters, and a return to the Dolby Theatre, the 94th Academy Awards were entertaining and, as mentioned before, different. In a good way, though. The 2021 Oscars were different in a bad way. It helped that last year they brought in a new producer, Will Packer, to revamp the show in a sense. And while some decisions, such as the infamous “Oscars Fan Favorite” web-category, didn’t sit well with many, it was still something new and inventive. However, carrying through with the insulting choice to hand out eight awards ahead of time – even after substantial criticism from several within in the film industry – was a definite negative. Luckily, that won’t happen this year.

As for Amy Schumer, Regina Hall, and Wanda Sykes . . . they were what one may have expected. And that diagnosis wasn’t beamingly positive in the first place. In my opinion, anyway. Despite this, having hosts still supplied a center to the ceremony and kept it together.

So, overall, the 94th Academy Awards were better than the year prior, both in reception and ratings, thanks largely in part to a reconstruction by Will Packer – even if it lacked the magic and warmth of previous years. Jessica Chastain won Best Actress, Questlove and Summer of Soul took home Best Documentary Feature, Beyoncé performed, Dune dominated six categories, the Pulp Fiction cast reunited, and Best Picture went to CODA. . . . Oh, also, that actor from Wild Wild West slapped the guy who voiced Marty in Madagascar. But nobody really talked about that.

In November of 2022, Jimmy Kimmel was announced as the host for 2023, after previously taking up the reins in 2017 and 2018. Director Glenn Weiss returns to produce, this time with Tony Award producer Ricky Kirshner. And, you guessed it, controversy has already reared its ugly (albeit riveting) head, this time in the form of an actress named Andrea Riseborough.

On March 12, 2022, a year ago to the day, a small indie film called To Leslie debuts at the South by Southwest (SXSW) convention. The flick focuses on a Texan woman who wins the lottery and wastes all the cold-hard cash. Seeking redemption, the single mother gives everything as she seeks an exit out of addiction. Directed by Michael Morris, the picture also starred Andrea Riseborough in the critically acclaimed lead role, along with other noticeable names like Marc Maron and Allison Janney.

To Leslie was not popular or widely talked about, despite favorable reviews. The film was released in theaters nationwide on October 7th, and accumulated an extremely dismal $31,000. That’s over 73,000x less than the money Avatar: The Way of Water made. However, respected Hollywood star Charlize Theron, an Academy-Award winner, hosted a screening for the film in November. The first awards recognition Riseborough received came that same month, with an Independent Spirit Award nomination, followed by a Chicago Film Critics Association nod in December. That was it. Nothing from the Golden Globes, Critics’ Choice Awards, SAG Awards, or the dozens of other awards shows. Barely anybody had even heard of the film.

Until January. Academy-Award winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow hosted another screening and later posted a strongly positive review on Instagram. Academy-Award nominee Edward Norton brought attention to the film and Riseborough around the same time. A similar pattern continued throughout the month. Celebrities featuring the likes of Jennifer Aniston, Zooey Deschanel, Mia Farrow, Helen Hunt, Rosie O’Donnell, Demi Moore, Sarah Paulson, Amy Adams, Kate Winslet, Jane Fonda, and Courteney Cox all praised Riseborough’s performance. In her Critics’ Choice Award acceptance speech, Cate Blanchett esteemed Riseborough by name. At least four social media posts included the same language, calling To Leslie “a small film with a giant heart” and specifically singling out Andrea Riseborough and the cast.

It seemed that all this commendation was happening a bit too late, having occurred during the first half of January with Oscar nomination voting closing on the 17th. But against all odds, on the morning of January 24th, 2023, Andrea Riseborough’s name was called while Riz Ahmed and Allison Williams announced the nominees for Best Actress in a Leading Role. There were some gasps, and a few claps (ooh, poetry), but the overwhelming feeling in the room was shock.

So what happened? While there was at least some genuine admiration for what was being lauded, there was obviously something more to it. Some reports indicate director Michael Morris used his Hollywood connections to get celebrities like Ed Norton on-board to promote Riseborough’s performance in hopes she and the film would gain Oscar recognition. On January 27th, the Academy announced it was investigating the campaign by which Riseborough received a nomination, with concerns of lobbying being the main issue. This decision was met with a polarized reaction, with Christina Ricci, Marc Maron, and Riseborough herself denouncing the choice, but others eager for answers. Four days later, it was confirmed that Riseborough’s nomination would not be revoked.

Well, that was a rather unnecessarily long look at the open-and-closed story of Andrea Riseborough’s surprise nomination. So, now you have that information, whether you wanted it or not!

It’s possible that emcee Kimmel will mention the uproar over Riseborough’s nomination, but he’ll want to be careful if there’s any chance of Michael Morris releasing his vast club of pretentious celebrity friends upon the late night host!

Two months ago, I made my picks regarding who I thought would be nominated in all the categories this year. I will admit, I was confident! Perhaps too confident. You know where I’m going with this.

After calculating the results, I discovered that my predictions were 73% accurate. While not a terrible score, 80% was the threshold I was hoping to break! With that lower-than-expected outcome, I was forced to pay my father a steep price of $5 due to an incompetent bet I made! My highest nomination score hails from last year, when I garnered around 80%. However, I didn’t include the sections in which I’m not as well-versed, such as the shorts and documentaries. Full-on corruption!

Leading this year’s pack of nominees is Everything Everywhere All at Once, which truly is everything everywhere in the categories with eleven nominations. That mind-bending sci-fi comedy family drama is pursued by The Banshees of Inisherin (another bizarre dramedy) and the German war film All Quiet on the Western Front with nine nominations each. All Quiet is the only film nominated for Best Picture this year that comes from a streaming service (Netflix, of course). The glitzy biopic Elvis follows with eight nominations, accompanied by Steven Spielberg’s semi-autobiographical account The Fabelmans with seven. Tár, which is about a composer who is not real, snatched up six nominations while the massive blockbuster hit Top Gun: Maverick also contains six. Other familiar box office successes like Black Panther: Wakanda Forever and Avatar: The Way of Water round out the top nine, although Triangle of Sadness and Women Talking are nominated for Best Picture in spite of possessing only three and two nominations, respectively.

There you go! Eleven movies in one paragraph! Some of the nominees this year broke records; for example, with his nomination for Best Original Score, John Williams became the oldest Oscar nominee of all time at age ninety, and also broke his own record for the most-nominated living person, and the second most-nominated person of all time, behind Walt Disney. And with both Avatar: The Way of Water and Top Gun: Maverick nominated for Best Picture, this marks the first time two sequels and/or two movies grossing over $1 billion are nominated in that category. Judd Hirsch, a contender in Best Supporting Actor, became the actor with the largest gap between nominations, last being nominated for Best Supporting Actor in 1980’s Ordinary People. And Angela Bassett, up for Best Supporting Actress, is officially the first actor or actress to be nominated for acting in a Marvel film. (Thanks for the info, Wikipedia!)

Enough of the fun facts! It’s time to get to the hardcore, muddy, unrestrained business. The predictions! I’ll go category-by-category, lending my theories along with my “signature” analysis of the race. It’s no secret, this year was a tough year! There’s a lot of tossup matches, so this was perhaps my greatest challenge yet. And while I’m not overtly confident that I’ll make it to that desired 100%, I believe I’ve perfected my algorithm after the underwhelming nomination results. Here are my winner prediction records (WPRs) for the last four years:

  • 2019: 67% or 16/24, An All Time Low (Best Picture: Green Book)
  • 2020: 92% or 22/24, An All Time High (Best Picture: Parasite)
  • 2021: 70% or 16/23, An All Time Mediocre (Best Picture: Nomadland)
  • 2022: 96% or 22/23, A New All Time High (Best Picture: CODA)

Now, join me as I make my final predictions for the 95th Academy Awards. Lights, keyboard, action!

The Technicals

Best Visual Effects

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front (Frank Petzold, Viktor Müller, Markus Frank, and Kamil Jafar); Avatar: The Way of Water (Joe Letteri, Richard Baneham, Eric Saindon, and Daniel Barrett); The Batman (Don Lemmon, Russell Earl, Anders Langlands, and Dominic Tuohy); Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Geoffrey Baumann, Craig Hammack, R. Christopher White, and Dan Sudick); Top Gun: Maverick (Ryan Tudhope, Seth Hill, Bryan Litson, and Scott R. Fisher)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Who Should Win: Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Who Could Win: Avatar: The Way of Water . . . or Avatar: The Way of Water – maybe even Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: Everything Everywhere All at Once

The original Avatar easily nabbed the win in this category thirteen years ago – there’s zero uncertainty that The Way of Water will repeat. In fact, the giant sequel broke several records at the Visual Effects Society Awards this year, collecting the most nominations in the ceremony’s history and winning every division it was nominated in.

Best Sound

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front (Viktor Prášil, Frank Kruse, Markus Stemler, Lars Ginzel, and Stefan Korte); Avatar: The Way of Water (Julian Howarth, Gwendolyn Yates Whittle, Dick Bernstein, Christopher Boyes, Gary Summers, and Michael Hedges); The Batman (Stuart Wilson, William Files, Douglas Murray, and Andy Nelson); Elvis (David Lee, Wayne Pashley, Andy Nelson, and Michael Keller); Top Gun: Maverick (Mark Weingarten, James H. Mather, Al Nelson, Chris Burdon, and Mark Taylor)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Top Gun: Maverick
  • Who Should Win: Top Gun: Maverick
  • Who Could Win: All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: Everything Everywhere All at Once

This is relatively close. It’s good news for All Quiet on the Western Front that the Academy typically grants sound awards to war movies like Saving Private Ryan, Dunkirk, and 1917, it’s hard to beat the immersive adventure that Top Gun: Maverick‘s action-packed, jet-fueled surround sound provides. While All Quiet beat Top Gun in the sound category at the BAFTAs, Maverick won against its main competitor at the Cinema Audio Society Awards. Both won in separate categories at the Golden Reel Awards. It could go either way, but Top Gun‘s epic theater experience could mean bad news for All Quiet, which was released on streaming.

Best Makeup & Hairstyling

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front (Heike Merker and Linda Eisenhamerová); The Batman (Naomi Donne, Mike Marino, and Mike Fontaine); Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Camille Friend and Joel Harlow); Elvis (Mark Coulier, Jason Baird, and Aldo Signoretti); The Whale (Adrien Morot, Judy Chin, and Anne Marie Bradley)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Elvis
  • Who Should Win: Elvis
  • Who Could Win: The Whale
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: Everything Everywhere All at Once

The Makeup & Hairstyling category is burdened with fat suits this year! This is a league that could be an indicator of the tight Best Actor race up ahead later in the show. The sets of makeup artists for both Elvis and The Whale completely transformed their lead actors. Elvis beat out The Whale at the Critics’ Choice Awards and also picked up two awards at the Make-Up Artists and Hair Stylists Guild Awards, where The Whale won once. (Try saying Whale won once five times.) Remember, though The Whale pulled off the impossible with Brendan Fraser’s prosthetics, the Elvis team was given the task of making everyone look like they were truly in the 50s, 60s, and 70s, in addition to making Austin Butler, Tom Hanks, and Olivia DeJonge look like their real-life counterparts.

Best Production Design

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front (Production Design: Christian M. Goldbeck, Set Decoration: Ernestine Hipper); Avatar: The Way of Water (Production Design: Dylan Cole and Ben Procter, Set Decoration: Vanessa Cole); Babylon (Production Design: Florencia Martin, Set Decoration: Anthony Carlino); Elvis (Production Design: Catherine Martin and Karen Murphy, Set Decoration: Bev Dunn); The Fabelmans (Production Design: Rick Carter, Set Decoration: Karen O’Hara)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Babylon
  • Who Should Win: Babylon or Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Who Could Win: Elvis
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

If Babylon indeed wins, this will mean that every one of Damien Chazelle’s feature-length films will have won at least one Oscar. Can the crew behind Babylon‘s majestic sets pull it off? Unless there’s a relatively unexpected surprise by Elvis, I think so.

Best Costume Design

  • And the Nominees Are: Babylon (Mary Zophres); Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Ruth E. Carter); Elvis (Catherine Martin); Everything Everywhere All at Once (Shirley Kurata); Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris (Jenny Beavan)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
  • Who Should Win: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
  • Who Could Win: Elvis
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

Ah! Ladies and gentlemen, on our safari across the Oscar landscape, we come across our first true breed of “tossup”. A wild but beautiful beast, it is. And a bit of a frustrating one. Competitors Ruth E. Carter and Catherine Martin have each won their fair share of awards in the past. Carter won an Oscar for the first Black Panther installment four years ago, while Catherine Martin has been awarded two Academy Awards, both for Baz Luhrmann films – most recently in 2013. Carter and Wakanda Forever won at the Critics’ Choice Awards while Martin and Elvis took home a BAFTA and Costume Designers Guild Award more recently. Academy voters may be a bit skeptical of choosing a sequel to win Best Costume Design, but with Carter’s stunning funeral and underwater wardrobe, anything is possible. Especially with Carter winning a variety of lesser-known accolades.

Best Cinematography

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front (James Friend); Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths (Darius Khondji); Elvis (Mandy Walker); Empire of Light (Roger Deakins); Tár (Florian Hoffmeister)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Who Should Win: All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Who Could Win: Elvis
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: Top Gun: Maverick (Claudio Miranda)

This division was thrown into prediction mayhem when favored winner Claudio Miranda failed to even receive a nomination! But when in doubt, give the award to the war film.

Best Film Editing

  • And the Nominees Are: The Banshees of Inisherin (Mikkel E. G. Nielsen); Elvis (Matt Villa and Jonathan Redmond); Everything Everywhere All at Once (Paul Rogers); Tár (Monika Willi); Top Gun: Maverick (Eddie Hamilton)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Who Should Win: Top Gun: Maverick
  • Who Could Win: Top Gun: Maverick
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery

In a relatively close race, Eddie Hamilton’s masterfully assembled Top Gun: Maverick was the early favorite thanks to its stunning aerial sequences, sharp cuts, grounded human interaction, and tense action. But then Everything Everywhere All at Once swept up the BAFTA and Critics’ Choice Awards in editing. Both films grabbed an American Cinema Editors Award, in which they were split up into different categories. An Academy voter could give the win to Everything Everywhere simply by hearing its title. The film itself is a flamboyant showcase that simply screams editing with its universe-jumping displays and highly choreographed fight scenes – and that should be enough to sway the Academy.

Best Original Song

  • And the Nominees Are: “Applause” from Tell It Like a Woman (Music & Lyrics by Diane Warren, Performed by Sofia Carson and Diane Warren); “Hold My Hand” from Top Gun: Maverick (Music & Lyrics by Lady Gaga and BloodPop, Performed by Lady Gaga); “Lift Me Up” from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever (Music by Tems, Rihanna, Ryan Coogler, and Ludwig Göransson, Lyrics by Tems and Ryan Coogler, Performed by Rihanna); “Naatu Naatu” from RRR (Music by M. M. Keeravani, Lyrics by Chandrabose, Performed by Rahul Sipligunj and Kaala Bhairava); “This Is a Life” from Everything Everywhere All at Once (Music by Ryan Lott, David Byrne, and Mitski, Lyrics by Ryan Lott and David Byrne, Performed by Son Lux, Mitski, and David Byrne)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: “Naatu Naatu”
  • Who Should Win: “Hold My Hand”
  • Who Could Win: “Hold My Hand”
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: “Ciao Papa” from Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

“Naatu Naatu” (which translates to “Dance Dance” in English) will sweep this category, as evidenced by wins at the Golden Globes and CCAs. (CCAs = Critics’ Choice Awards.) Additionally, a lack of additional nominations for RRR (which is already a cult classic) will be repaired by the movie winning this category. I would much prefer Lady Gaga and “Hold My Hand” to take home Mr. Oscar, but Gaga’s already had her win four years ago. And luckily, all five songs will be performed at the Academy Awards!

Best Original Score

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front (Volker Bertelmann); Babylon (Justin Hurwitz); The Banshees of Inisherin (Carter Burwell); Everything Everywhere All at Once (Son Lux); The Fabelmans (John Williams)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Who Should Win: Babylon
  • Who Could Win: Babylon
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio (Alexandre Desplat)

We come across our next neck-and-neck race! The Golden Globes may have been a bit influential in boosting Hurwitz’s and Babylon‘s chances, but the CCAs were no help, awarding Tár the Best Score award – a film which is not even nominated in this category! All Quiet on the Western Front triumphed over Babylon and took home the BAFTA. But since Bertelmann and All Quiet didn’t compete against Babylon for the Golden Globe, I’m calling it for the German remake.

The Shorts

Best Documentary Short Subject

  • And the Nominees Are: The Elephant Whisperers; Haulout; How Do You Measure a Year?; The Martha Mitchell Effect; Stranger at the Gate
  • And the Oscar Goes To: The Elephant Whisperers
  • Who Should Win: The Elephant Whisperers
  • Who Could Win: Stranger at the Gate

I’m not very knowledgable on the short films, so I’m leaving these up to the professionals!

Best Live Action Short

  • And the Nominees Are: An Irish Goodbye; Ivalu; Le pupille; Night Ride; The Red Suitcase
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Le pupille
  • Who Should Win: An Irish Goodbye
  • Who Could Win: An Irish Goodbye

This is another close one! An Irish Goodbye is favored by many to win, but Le pupille has double Oscar-winner Alfonso Cuarón’s name behind it. Big names have an influence in the elite Academy circle!

Best Animated Short

  • And the Nominees Are: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse; The Flying Sailor; Ice Merchants; My Year of D**ks; An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It
  • And the Oscar Goes To: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
  • Who Should Win: The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse
  • Who Could Win: My Year of D**ks

Hello, Best Animated Short, my old friend. This was the category last year that barred me from breaking the 100% barrier. I will exact my revenge this year and face it again! My Year of *BLEEP*s and An Ostrich Told Me the World Is Fake and I Think I Believe It both certainly advance some edgy and intriguing titles, but the heartwarming tale of The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse, which is produced by household names like J. J. Abrams and Woody Harrelson, should be safe in bringing home the trophy. However, with its appalling snub of the Oxford coma, it’s on thin ice with me!

The Features

Best Documentary Feature

  • And the Nominees Are: All That Breathes; All the Beauty and the Bloodshed; Fire of Love; A House Made of Splinters; Navalny
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Navalny
  • Who Should Win: Fire of Love
  • Who Could Win: Fire of Love

This is a category for which I’m strictly relying on the CCAs and BAFTAs, both of which awarded the shocking documentary Navalny, which is about . . . well, Alexei Navalny. And though some votes could be granted to Fire of Love, All That Breathes, and All the Beauty and the Bloodshed, Navalny should have enough support to break through with enough popularity.

Best International Feature

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front (Germany); Argentina, 1985 (Argentina); Close (Belgium); EO (Poland); The Quiet Girl (Ireland)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Who Should Win: All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Decision to Leave (South Korea)

C’mon. All Quiet on the Western Front is nominated for Best Picture. There’s no need to debate this.

Best Animated Feature

  • And the Nominees Are: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio; Marcel the Shell with Shoes On; Puss in Boots: The Last Wish; The Sea Beast; Turning Red
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
  • Who Should Win: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
  • Who Should Have Been Nominated: The Bad Guys

Guillermo del Toro’s visually striking, innovative masterpiece has won so many awards that something else winning would be on par with Jeff Goldblum waking up and acting normal!

Forget about that short film nominee The Martha Mitchell Effect. The Academy is under the influence of the Guillermo del Toro Effect!

The Remainders

Best Adapted Screenplay

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front (Edward Berger, Lesley Paterson, and Ian Stokell, Based on the 1929 Novel of the Same Name by Erich Maria Remarque); Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery (Rian Johnson, Based on Characters Created by Johnson and the 2019 Film Knives Out Written by Johnson); Living (Kazuo Ishiguro, Based on the Original Motion Picture Screenplay Ikiru by Akira Kurosawa, Shinobu Hashimoto, and Hideo Oguni); Top Gun: Maverick (Screenplay by Ehren Kruger, Eric Warren Singer, and Christopher McQuarrie, Story by Peter Craig and Justin Marks, Based on the Film Top Gun Written by Jim Cash and Jack Epps Jr.); Women Talking (Sarah Polley, Based on the 2018 Novel of the Same Name by Miriam Toews)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Women Talking
  • Who Should Win: Glass Onion
  • Who Could Win: All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio (Screenplay by Guillermo del Toro and Patrick McHale, Story by Guillermo del Toro and Matthew Robbins, Based on the 1883 Novel “The Adventures of Pinocchio” by Carlo Collodi and Illustrations by Gris Grimly)

Sarah Polley’s intense drama Women Talking arguably underperformed with nominations, but this is a race it’s sure to excel in, winning at the CCAs and WGAs. Although All Quiet on the Western Front won the comparative BAFTA Award, Women Talking‘s dialogue-heavy script should resonate more with the Academy.

Best Original Screenplay

  • And the Nominees Are: The Banshees of Inisherin (Martin McDonagh); Everything Everywhere All at Once (Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert); The Fabelmans (Steven Spielberg & Tony Kushner); Tár (Todd Field); Triangle of Sadness (Ruben Östlund)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Who Should Win: Everything Everywhere All at Once or The Banshees of Inisherin
  • Who Could Win: The Banshees of Inisherin
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Aftersun (Charlotte Wells)

Yikes! Now we’re getting into tossup-heavy territory. According to awards tracker Ben Zauzmer’s mathematical model, this is the single closest race of the 95th Oscars!

Martin McDonagh’s mysteriously hilarious Banshees of Inisherin script has picked up wins at the Golden Globes and BAFTAs for its thematic work, while Everything Everywhere, penned by Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert (also known as “Daniels”), amassed awards from the CCAs and WGAs, the latter of which Banshees was ineligible for. Though Banshees is perhaps the more sound choice, the Academy loves true originality, and Everything Everywhere definitely has that factor. To confirm this, look back no more than five years ago, when Jordan Peele’s Get Out script was in a close competition with Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, also written by McDonagh. The former won at the CCAs and WGA, with the latter gaining momentum from the Golden Globes and BAFTAs. But, Get Out ended up taking the trophy, in no small part to its wildly creative originality. A repeat could certainly happen.

Best Supporting Actress

  • And the Nominees Are: Angela Bassett (Black Panther: Wakanda Forever); Hong Chau (The Whale); Kerry Condon (The Banshees of Inisherin); Jamie Lee Curtis (Everything Everywhere All at Once); Stephanie Hsu (Everything Everywhere All at Once)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Angela Bassett
  • Who Should Win: Angela Bassett
  • Who Could Win: Jamie Lee Curtis
  • Who Maybe Could Win: Kerry Condon
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Jessie Buckley (Women Talking)

While Best Original Screenplay is perhaps the nearest contest of this year’s Oscars, Best Supporting Actress is the most scattershot. There’s no clear winner, so you’re going to have to rely squarely on guesses for this category.

Angela Bassett seemed to be pulling ahead after wins at the Golden Globes and CCAs, but then Kerry Condon reminded the Black Panther legend that the race isn’t over yet with a win at the BAFTAs. And then, when all seemed lost, Jamie Lee Curtis came roaring in with a surprise win at the SAGs. So what is happening?! Who will presenter Troy Kotsur hand the Oscar to? Well, my odds are on Angela Bassett. After only being nominated once thirty years ago and losing, reparations are in order. Her powerhouse performance in Wakanda Forever stunned critics, and while more traditional voters will be dubious about handing an acting Oscar to a Marvel movie, there’s enough support to get Bassett to the other side. Jamie Lee Curtis will take after both her parents: being nominated, but losing. And while Condon has a chance, this seems to be a sprint between Bassett and Curtis. But Curtis could split some votes with her Everything Everywhere All at Once costar Stephanie Hsu, which opens a victory path for Bassett. But this is hardly a sure thing! Maybe try finding a three-sided coin and flip it.

Best Supporting Actor

  • And the Nominees Are: Brendan Gleeson (The Banshees of Inisherin); Brian Tyree Henry (Causeway); Judd Hirsch (The Fabelmans); Barry Keoghan (The Banshees of Inisherin); Ke Huy Quan (Everything Everywhere All at Once)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Ke Huy Quan
  • Who Should Win: Ke Huy Quan
  • Who Could Win: Brendan Gleeson
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Paul Dano (The Fabelmans)

Comeback actor Ke Huy Quan is 100% the surest (is that a word?) choice in the acting categories . . . and he didn’t even win the BAFTA! Nonetheless, Quan has picked up steam after his wins at the Golden Globes, CCAs, and SAGs, so there’s no reason to read into this one too much: Quan will be one of the night’s first winners.

Best Actor

  • And the Nominees Are: Austin Butler (Elvis); Colin Farrell (The Banshees of Inisherin); Brendan Fraser (The Whale); Paul Mescal (Aftersun); Bill Nighy (Living)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Austin Butler
  • Who Should Win: Austin Butler or Brendan Fraser
  • Who Could Win: Brendan Fraser
  • Who Maybe Could Win: Colin Farrell
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Tom Cruise (Top Gun: Maverick)

Five words: Jamie Foxx and Rami Malek. Both portrayed iconic musicians and won a Best Actor Oscar. Austin Butler will follow in their footsteps. A lot more names could be dropped if one were to speak more generally about transformative lead performances. Daniel-Day Lewis. Gary Oldman. Eddie Redmayne. Matthew McConaughey. Leonardo DiCaprio. Want me to keep going? Yes, Brendan Fraser was the early frontrunner, but Butler proved he had support after a surprising BAFTA win that was expected to go to Colin Farrell. And though controversy played a role in why Butler won over Fraser at the Golden Globes, that momentum pushed the 31-year-old forward – plus, it helps that he was a great SNL host. And while Fraser could certainly prevail and ultimately win the prize, talk by Academy voters seems to indicate substantial support for Butler. Either way, eyes will be glued to the screen when Jessica Chastain opens the envelope!

Best Actress

  • And the Nominees Are: Cate Blanchett (Tár); Ana de Armas (Blonde); Andrea Riseborough (To Leslie); Michelle Williams (The Fabelmans); Michelle Yeoh (Everything Everywhere All at Once)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Michelle Yeoh
  • Who Should Win: Cate Blanchett
  • Who Could Win: Cate Blanchett
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Danielle Deadwyler (Till)

Dangit! Why are the acting categories so hard this year?! I could write extensively about Best Actress, but I’ll keep it simple. Who? Michelle Yeoh. Why? I don’t know. How? Not sure. Confidence is not necessarily present in this situation. Cate Blanchett has won Golden Globe, BAFTA, Critics’ Choice, and AACTA awards; Michelle Yeoh has won Golden Globe, Satellite, and SAG awards. If Blanchett was able to pull off a SAG win, I would’ve predicted she’d overcome Yeoh and win her third Oscar. But Yeoh has gained impetus since the SAGs, and it seems that Academy members are eager to award her showy performance. And, with the surprise nomination of Andrea Riseborough, Blanchett could split enough votes with the dark horse to cost her the race.

Best Director

  • And the Nominees Are: Todd Field (Tár); Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert (Everything Everywhere All at Once); Martin McDonagh (The Banshees of Inisherin); Ruben Östlund (Triangle of Sadness); Steven Spielberg (The Fabelmans)
  • And the Oscar Goes To: Daniels
  • Who Should Win: Daniels
  • Who Could Win: Steven Spielberg
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Baz Luhrmann (Elvis); Joseph Kosinski (Top Gun: Maverick)

Steven Spielberg was the early favorite to win his third directing Oscar, but after losses at the CCAs and, more consequentially, the DGAs, Daniels are looking to become the third duo in history to win the Best Director award with their head-spinning ride through the multiverse. Sorry, Stevey, maybe next time!

Best Picture

  • And the Nominees Are: All Quiet on the Western Front; Avatar: The Way of Water; The Banshees of Inisherin; Elvis; Everything Everywhere All at Once; The Fabelmans; Tár; Top Gun: Maverick; Triangle of Sadness; Women Talking
  • And the Oscar Goes To . . . Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Who Should Win: Top Gun: Maverick
  • Who Could Win: Top Gun: Maverick
  • The Rest of Nominees Sorted in Likelihood of Winning: All Quiet on the Western Front (3), Tár (4), The Banshees of Inisherin (5), The Fabelmans (6), Elvis (7), Triangle of Sadness (8), Avatar: The Way of Water (9), Women Talking (10)
  • Who Should’ve Been Nominated: Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery; Black Panther: Wakanda Forever; Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

That’s right! You’re going to see Everything Everywhere All at Once cleaning up at the Academy Awards, with a final confirmation of success coming via Best Picture. The film is currently the most-awarded movie in history, surpassing the record held by The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King since 2004. With dominations at the Critics’ Choice, SAG, PGA, DGA, and WGA awards, it’s been awhile since there’s been a film swinging into awards season with such gusto. Unless a major upset happens and Tom Cruise finally wins his well-deserved Oscar or All Quiet on the Western Front repeats the original 1930 film’s winning streak, Everything Everywhere All at Once is officially locked in. (Bolded for dramatic purposes.)

There you have it! That’s the definitive guide to your 95th Academy Awards ballot. Hopefully I’ll win the family bet again and affirm my championship status! (Ah, such humility.) Until then, enjoy the Oscars! And I’ll be back to review my results next time.

Whiz Kid out

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Coming Soon! https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/02/coming-soon/ Mon, 27 Feb 2023 03:31:12 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=812

Hey there, folks! I just wanted to keep you posted (pun intended) on some upcoming articles slated to join Planet Whiz Kid!

First off, get prepared for the 5th Annual Oscar Predictions Special with exclusive projections for who will win Best Picture and more! The Academy Awards airs on ABC March 12th, so expect this . . . well, before that. It’s been scientifically proven that ambiguous descriptions keep people coming back!

Also, the Whiz Kid Awards are back! I, the Chair and sole member of the PWK Film Committee, have been watching through the hottest and talkiest movies of 2022 to bring you the objective awards show! (Albeit via a virtual website.) So stay tuned!

Additionally, other projects in the works include a guide to the streaming services during this ever-evolving digital age, and a shocking exposé essay that’s guaranteed to provoke action. I’ll leave it at that!

So, add “Planet Whiz Kid” to your bookmarks, because there’s plenty to return for! Until then, adieu, adios, and au revoir.

Whiz Kid out

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Predictions Before the Nominations: 2023 Oscars https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/01/predictions-before-the-nominations-2023-oscars/ https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/01/predictions-before-the-nominations-2023-oscars/#comments Tue, 24 Jan 2023 05:18:00 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=784

Your eyes do not deceive you – the “Predictions Before the Nominations” series is back! Five years later, this iconic staple of Planet Whiz Kid has made its grand return to . . . WAIT!

Everything you has just learned . . . is a lie!

Annually, I make sure to write a post predicting the Oscar winners, usually on the eve of the Academy Awards ceremony. However, back in the Golden Age, I used to publish my theorizations (a fancier word for “theories”) on who the nominees would be, as well. Alas, that was on the old Planet Whiz Kid, which infamously crashed in January of 2019, leading to the birth of a newer, more efficient “revival site” as I call it. (Challenge: do a search on this website to see how many times I’ve mentioned this traumatic incident.)

However, I have moved on! And I’m ready to present my official predictions for the 95th Academy Awards nominees, slated to be announced tomorrow, January 24th. This was by far the year that I did the most amount of research regarding the top-tier awards contenders. I started investigating back in August, and I hope all that digging will lead to a gold mine! (A.K.A. a $5 bet I made with my dad.)

The largest percentage I’ve accomplished relating to nomination predictions is 79.5% for the 2020 Academy Awards. For reference, last year’s was 73.4% – however, my winner prognoses were the best yet at 95.6%. I only got one category wrong, and it was a frustrating one: Best Animated Short. It wasn’t even dramatic! I knew halfway through the show that I wouldn’t achieve the bejeweled 100% mark. (And for you fact-checkers out there who claim that I lost the Best Picture category because I initially predicted The Power of the Dog as the winner instead of CODA, the joke’s on you! I changed my answer moments before the show began!)

This year, I’m confident that my research will pay off! So, let’s to the predictions . . . right after some brief entertainment news!

We’re going to bring in Walt the Box Office Guy, who’s filling in for Brad the Box Office Guy, who’s filling in for Paul the Box Office Guy, who has yet to be seen since March of 2021.

Whiz Kid: Howdy, Walt!
(*pause*)
Walt: Hi.
Whiz Kid: How are you today? How's January treating you?
(*pause*)
Walt: Good.
Whiz Kid: Oh-kay. So, I heard that a certain 3D movie about water starring blue people which shall remain nameless just crossed $2 billion worldwide. Can you tell us more about that?
Walt: Well . . . it's a movie. Must be good if people are watching it.
Whiz Kid: Wow, you're getting wordy! Do you think this film could usurp Avengers: Infinity War at the box office?
Walt: Maybe.
Whiz Kid: Care to elaborate?
Walt: Nah.
Whiz Kid: Alright then. Are there any exciting releases to look forward to as we near February?
Walt: YES! DEFINITELY! You NEED to see Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey! It's the most hotly-anticipated slasher gore-fest of 2023! It is a MUST-SEE! It's based off the Winnie-the-Pooh books, which obviously incorporated gothic horror elements. Starring Pooh and Piglet as two bloodthirsty killers on a carnage-filled rampage! WATCH IT!
Whiz Kid: That's not really my type of movie . . .
Walt: Well, make it your type of movie! You don't want to get on my bad side!
Whiz Kid: Yikes. Very good, then. Thanks, Walt!
Walt: Whatever.

What I wanted Walt to get to was the fact that Avatar: The Way of Water just crossed $2 billion yesterday. It’s now the sixth highest-grossing film of all time and the first film to crack $2 billion in two-and-a-half years. It could overtake Avengers: Infinity War and Star Wars: The Force Awakens by the end of the month!

Those of you who have been reading PWK for awhile know my highly credible theory that James Cameron (director of the Avatar films) has been plotting for decades to take down Star Wars. After a shocking walkout from Cameron’s team in 2019, he’s all on his own now (save for the faithful Sigourney Weaver). Cameron is obviously tinkering with the box office numbers to give people the impression that Avatar is still a thing. It’s been 13 years, Jimmy, wake up!

Anyway, in other stories, the Sundance Film Festival is currently playing in Utah. This allows for some lesser-known indie films to step into the spotlight and have the chance to win a coveted prize at the end of it!

Additionally, a brand-new trailer for Season 3 of The Mandalorian aired during Monday Night Football last week and shattered records, garnering over 83 million views within 24 hours of dropping. This surpassed the previous record holder, the main trailer for Obi-Wan Kenobi, which received almost 58 million views. People are excited for Mando and Baby Yoda to return! This is my most-anticipated TV show for 2023, so I’ll be among the first to watch it when the first episode releases on Disney+ on March 1.

Finally, tickets for Ant-Man and the Wasp: Quantumania are now on sale. You’d better buy them quickly, as the newest MCU blockbuster is headed for a strong opening when it comes out on February 17. After all, who doesn’t want to see Bill Murray as a quantum lord?

Now that we’ve cleared that out of the way, it’s time for predictions! So let’s get to it!

Starting with . . .

The Shorts

Best Live Action Short

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • An Irish Goodbye
  • Le Pupille
  • The Red Suitcase
  • Tula
  • Warsha

Best Documentary Short Subject

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • 38 at the Garden
  • The Flagmakers
  • Holding Moses
  • How Do You Measure a Year?
  • Nuisance Bear

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I’m just hoping these are correct!

Best Animated Short

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • The Boy, The Mole, The Fox and the Horse
  • The Flying Sailor
  • Ice Merchants
  • New Moon
  • Save Ralph

Note: I really don’t know much about the shorts, so thanks to GoldDerby, AwardsDaily, IndieWire, and Variety for the information! These picks aren’t entirely plucked out of thin air by my “sources”. About a month ago, the Oscars released their shortlists, which provide a trimmed-down selection of films vying for certain categories: Best Documentary, Best Documentary Short, Best International Feature, Best Makeup and Hairstyling, Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Animated Short, Best Live Action Short, Best Sound, and Best Visual Effects. About ten to twenty movies are announced to be part of the limited choices for each category. Plus, film festivals and a few lesser-known awards ceremonies help to boost a short film’s popularity.

Now, we move onto the stuff that I know!

The Technicals

Best Visual Effects

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Avatar: The Way of Water
  • The Batman
  • Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
  • Top Gun: Maverick

Potential Upset: Thirteen Lives

Others to Watch Out For: Nope; Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore

Best Sound

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Elvis
  • Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Top Gun: Maverick

Potential Upset: Babylon

Others to Watch Out For: The Batman; Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

Best Makeup & Hairstyling

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Babylon
  • The Batman
  • Blonde
  • Elvis
  • The Whale

Potential Upset: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Others to Watch Out For: Amsterdam; All Quiet on the Western Front

Best Production Design

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Babylon
  • Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
  • Elvis

Potential Upset: The Fabelmans

Others to Watch Out For: Everything Everywhere All at Once; Amsterdam

Best Costume Design

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Babylon
  • Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
  • Elvis
  • Mrs. Harris Goes to Paris
  • The Woman King

Potential Upset: Everything Everywhere All at Once

Others to Watch Out For: Women Talking; Living; Amsterdam; Don’t Worry Darling

Best Cinematography

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Elvis
  • Empire of Light
  • Tár
  • Top Gun: Maverick

Potential Upset: Babylon

Others to Watch Out For: The Batman; All Quiet on the Western Front; The Fabelmans

Best Film Editing

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Elvis
  • Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Tár
  • Top Gun: Maverick

Potential Upset: Babylon

Others to Watch Out For: The Banshees of Inisherin; All Quiet on the Western Front

Best Original Song

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • “Applause” from Tell It Like a Woman
  • “Ciao Papa” from Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
  • “Hold My Hand” from Top Gun: Maverick
  • “Lift Me Up” from Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
  • “Naatu Naatu” from RRR

Potential Upset: “Carolina” from Where the Crawdads Sing

Others to Watch Out For: “New Body Rhumba” from White Noise; “Nothing Is Lost (You Give Me Strength)” from Avatar: The Way of Water

Best Original Score

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Babylon
  • The Banshees of Inisherin
  • The Fabelmans
  • Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
  • Women Talking

Potential Upset: All Quiet on the Western Front

Others to Watch Out For: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever; Avatar: The Way of Water; The Woman King

The Features

Best Documentary Feature

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • All That Breathes
  • All the Beauty and the Bloodshed
  • Fire of Love
  • Navalny
  • The Territory

Potential Upset: Descendant

Others to Watch Out For: Moonage Daydream

Best International Feature

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • All Quiet on the Western Front (Germany)
  • Argentina, 1985 (Argentina)
  • Close (Belgium)
  • Decision to Leave (South Korea)
  • Holy Spider (Denmark)

Potential Upset: The Quiet Girl

Others to Watch Out For: EO; Corsage; Bardo, False Chronicle of a Handful of Truths

Best Animated Feature

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
  • Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
  • Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
  • Turning Red
  • Wendell & Wild

Potential Upset: My Father’s Dragon

Others to Watch Out For: Inu-Oh; The Bad Guys; The Sea Beast

The Biggies

Best Adapted Screenplay

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery
  • Living
  • She Said
  • Women Talking

Potential Upset: The Whale

Others to Watch Out For: Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio; Top Gun: Maverick; The Son

Best Original Screenplay

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • The Banshees of Inisherin
  • The Fabelmans
  • Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Tár
  • Triangle of Sadness

Potential Upset: Aftersun

Others to Watch Out For: Armageddon Time; RRR

Best Supporting Actress

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Angela Bassett, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
  • Jessie Buckley, Women Talking
  • Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin
  • Nina Hoss, Tár
  • Dolly de Leon, Triangle of Sadness

Potential Upset: Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Others to Watch Out For: Jamie Lee Curtis, Everything Everywhere All at Once; Hong Chau, The Whale; Carey Mulligan, She Said; Claire Foy, Women Talking

Best Supporting Actor

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Brendan Gleeson, The Banshees of Inisherin
  • Judd Hirsch, The Fabelmans
  • Barry Keoghan, The Banshees of Inisherin
  • Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • Eddie Redmayne, The Good Nurse

Potential Upset: Paul Dano, The Fabelmans

Others to Watch Out For: Ben Whishaw, Women Talking; Brian Tyree Henry, Causeway; Brad Pitt, Babylon

Best Actor

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Austin Butler, Elvis
  • Colin Farrell, The Banshees of Inisherin
  • Brendan Fraser, The Whale
  • Hugh Jackman, The Son
  • Bill Nighy, Living

Potential Upset: Tom Cruise, Top Gun: Maverick

Others to Watch Out For: Jeremy Pope, The Inspection; Paul Mescal, Aftersun; Diego Calva, Babylon; Adam Sandler, Hustle; Tom Hanks, A Man Called Otto

Best Actress

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • Cate Blanchett, Tár
  • Olivia Colman, Empire of Light
  • Viola Davis, The Woman King
  • Michelle Williams, The Fabelmans
  • Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All at Once

Potential Upset: Danielle Deadwyler, Till

Others to Watch Out For: Margot Robbie, Babylon; Andrea Riseborough, To Leslie; Jennifer Lawrence, Causeway; Ana de Armas, Blonde

Best Director

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • James Cameron, Avatar: The Way of Water
  • Todd Field, Tár
  • Daniel Kwan & Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • S. S. Rajamouli, RRR
  • Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans

Potential Upset: Martin McDonagh, The Banshees of Inisherin

Others to Watch Out For: Edward Berger, All Quiet on the Western Front; Sarah Polley, Women Talking; Joseph Kosinski, Top Gun: Maverick; Baz Luhrmann, Elvis; Park Chan-wook, Decision to Leave

Best Picture

And the Projected Nominees Are:

  • All Quiet on the Western Front
  • Avatar: The Way of Water
  • The Banshees of Inisherin
  • The Fabelmans
  • Elvis
  • Everything Everywhere All at Once
  • RRR
  • Tár
  • Top Gun: Maverick
  • Triangle of Sadness

Potential Upset: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

Others to Watch Out For: Decision to Leave; Babylon; Glass Onion: A Knives Out Mystery; Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio

There you have it! Thanks for taking a look at my forecast for the 95th Academy Awards nominations. I’m hoping to crack 80%, so wish me luck. Until then, see you next time post-nominations!

Whiz Kid out

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Quick Post: MLK Day 2023 https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/01/quick-post-mlk-day-2023/ https://planetwhizkid.com/2023/01/quick-post-mlk-day-2023/#comments Tue, 17 Jan 2023 00:39:58 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=769

Well, how did that happen? It’s Martin Luther King Jr. Day again already, which means another year has gone by! I wrote six posts last year, the same amount as in 2021 and 2020, which – by my calculations – means that I’ve done a mere eighteen posts in the last three years!

I’m back for 2023, though, and there’s going to be a load of posts coming your way – if I keep my New Years’ Resolution. The percentage of that occurring seems . . . dismal, but this may be the year that I finally publish that “Best Streaming Services” post that’s been in development h-e-double-hockey-sticks for several years.

However, this post isn’t about the “Lost Articles”, as I like to call them. Instead, it’s about Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.! Which you’ve probably figured out by now. It’s an annual tradition here on Planet Whiz Kid! Today, we’re looking at the late great MLK’s five greatest allies. This year’s post was predicted by a younger, sprier version of me last year, as evidenced by this revealing snapshot that was recently leaked:

Now, this could be twisted to suit some people’s narrative that this wasn’t actually “leaked”, it was instead part of last year’s MLK post. That may be true, but . . . saying it’s leaked is more dramatic!

So, let’s take a look at the five biggest associates in MLK’s life and career.

5. Mahatma Gandhi

  • Born: 1869
  • Assassinated: 1948 (aged 78)
  • Known For: Freeing India from British Rule
  • Relationship with MLK: Gandhi was really an influence on Martin Luther King Jr. rather than an ally. In fact, the two never met! While Dr. King had aspired to meet Gandhi, he was unable to before the mahatma was shot and killed. However, Gandhi’s successful method of peaceful protest had a large impact on Dr. King, who would of course go on to use that as his driving force against injustice. King wrote that Gandhi was a “guiding light” for him – he really was the first to show the power of peaceful protest.

4. Malcolm X

  • Born: 1925
  • Assassinated: 1965 (aged 39)
  • Known For: His Prominence and Activism During the Civil Rights Movement
  • Relationship with MLK: On the complete opposite end of the spectrum from Gandhi, Malcolm X was a controversial figure known for his polarizing comments on race and violence. Dr. King’s relationship with Malcolm X was a bit more complicated, but they were, in a word, “frenemies”. While they shared a common goal, the means they each had in mind to achieve that equality were quite different. Though Dr. King expressed his admiration of Malcolm X, he wasn’t afraid to call him out on his harmful rhetoric. Despite their disagreements, Malcolm X was a key member of the Civil Rights Movement who helped to further Dr. King’s quest for peace, and the two held mutual respect for each other. Little known fact: the two actually only met once, pictured above.

3. Rosa Parks

  • Born: 1913
  • Died: 2005 (aged 92)
  • Known For: Refusing to Give Up Her Seat on a Segregated Bus
  • Relationship with MLK: Rosa Parks’ refusal to give up her seat and move to the back of the bus on December 1, 1955 is one of the most iconic moments of the Civil Rights Movement. That one action acted as the launching pad of sorts for the cause’s growth. Her subsequent arrest inspired the game-changing Montgomery Bus Boycott, which Dr. King was instrumental in. This led to the legal integration of buses, proving that revision could happen. Who knows how long it would’ve taken for change to take place had Rosa Parks not done what she did? One person standing up can make a huge difference! This granted Dr. King the opportunity to step forward and become a more influential leader. Even after the bus boycott, she remained active in her advocacy and spoke highly of Dr. King: “I admired and respected him as a truly great man committed and dedicated to freedom, peace[,] and loyalty for all oppressed humanity. He was a leader of the masses in Montgomery, Alabama and the nation.”

2. Bayard Rustin

  • Born: 1912
  • Died: 1987 (aged 75)
  • Known For: His Activism for Human Rights
  • Relationship with MLK: It’s possible that you haven’t heard of Bayard Rustin. I just read up on him for the first time today in order to write this post. He’s the behind-the-scenes warrior of the March on Washington, and probably worked with Dr. King the most out of anyone except number one on this list. He was a large part of what formed King’s belief about nonviolence, and really was able to launch King into the spotlight. Together, they organized the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, which played a huge part in the Civil Rights Movement. While he and King held varied opinions from time-to-time, when they collaborated on a project, it was sure to be big! It’s difficult to say that Martin Luther King Jr. would be where he is today without the help of Bayard Rustin.

1. Coretta Scott King

  • Born: 1927
  • Died: 2006 (aged 78)
  • Known For: Her Social Justice Causes
  • Relationship with MLK: Well, the relationship part is pretty obvious! They were married! They wed in June of 1953 on Coretta’s mother’s lawn. From then on out, she supported Dr. King in his just mission and became an advocate herself. She succeeded MLK after his passing and took on the reins of the civil rights movement, also pushing for women’s rights and railing against apartheid. Together, the Kings had four children who they were survived by. She is also the woman behind this very holiday that we celebrate today! For years, she pushed to make her late husband’s birthday a federal holiday – she got her wish when President Ronald Reagan made it so in 1983. She ensured that his legacy was sustained. . . . I think it’s only grown.

So, on MLK Day, remember both the incredible Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and his allies who helped to make him the civil rights leader he was. His dream will never die.

Whiz Kid out

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Halloween https://planetwhizkid.com/2022/10/halloween-2/ https://planetwhizkid.com/2022/10/halloween-2/#comments Tue, 01 Nov 2022 04:13:42 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=752

It’s that time of year again. The spell of the fall season has been cast upon us. For the very first leaf to fall reminds you of the terror that lies before us: a holiday, whose name is unspeakable. A holiday that unleashes evil unto the streets. A holiday that summons the most wretched and nauseating of creatures. A holiday that ignites the kind of bloodcurdling horror that could send chills running up your spine. A hand reaches from the grave, grasping for vengeance. A werewolf howls in the distance, emerging from the darkened, mysterious forest. But the fear is just beginning. You’re surrounded, trapped by everything: mummies, witches, skeletons, ghosts, vampires, elections! It’s enough to make you mad. This is Halloween.

Last Halloween, our continuing story halted with a number of unresolved storylines – but not to worry, we will resume where we left off! So let us return to our monsters, whose futures are uncertain as the majority of them are held in an isolated, top-notch FBI incarceration center, with their only hopes being Count Dracula, living in Transylvania after fleeing America in 2019, and Dr. Wilfred Glendon, the Wolf Man, who had temporarily left the monsters to go on an unknown expedition. But, more could be at risk than just the monsters, as the crazed bio-exorcist Beetlejuice has returned to Halloween Town with his cronies Pennywise the Dancing Clown and Slappy the Dummy.

What could be coming next?

Halloween V: Part One

London, October 19, 2021, 2:15 A.M. (12 Days Before Halloween)

A Monday night in England. Lights illuminated the desolate downtown, unoccupied, unattended, completely dead. Dim lamps and candles shone from inside the local shops, showcasing charming pumpkin displays and ghoulish decorations. Silence was the sole noise occupying the deserted area.

However, a distant note could suddenly be lightly heard. It gradually grew from quiet to perceptible, approaching closer by the second. Footsteps.

A man walked warily down the street, his hat brim pulled down over his shadowed face. The only sound now echoing from the square was his feet on the sidewalk. It was clear that this stranger was not simply wandering about; he had a destination.

The mysterious character continued down his path, making a handful of turns along the way. His journey soon took him to a large, mildly intimidating mansion that, while still part of a neighborhood, was rather isolated from the rest of the city. Stopping to briefly examine the estate, the individual took out a slip of paper which read: “1886 Stevenson Court”. Having confirmed that the addresses corresponded, the man advanced toward the residence and gently tapped on the door five times.

It was almost immediately opened. An elderly servant stood in the entryway, still in his formal outfit.

“Come in.”

The visitor discreetly stepped into the grand house. There was a rare or expensive decoration everywhere the eye could see. Each furniture piece looked like it had been bought at an underground black market auction – that’s how striking they were.

“Follow me,” the butler gestured. He led the house guest through the manor and out the back door. Though balding and frail with a worn voice, the assistant had a kind spirit about him, like that of a cheerful janitor.

The client was taken out to the massive backyard, where a cottage of sorts resided. The butler stopped at the door and said, “Here we are.”

The unknown man spoke for the first time. “Thank you, Mister, uh . . . ?”

“Poole,” replied the servant. “You’re welcome, sir.”

With that, Mr. Poole returned back to the house, leaving the visitor at the door to the cottage. But before he could even knock, a voice from inside calmly said, “Please enter.”

Just a bit taken aback, the man opened the door and walked in.

It was almost totally dark, with a singular lit candle being the only light in the cabin. Not even the shades were opened so moonlight could pour in.

Suddenly, a lamp flickered on, showcasing the hut’s interior. It was all one room, a large office, though it maintained a similar comfortable sense as the mansion. The lamp and candle sat on the desk, and behind the desk sat . . . Dr. Henry Jekyll, who was being visited by none other than Dr. Wilfred Glendon.

Dr. Glendon was no ordinary medical practitioner. Though he was often described as personable, pleasant, and jolly, terms such as beast, mutant, and ogre seemed to be the adjectives most used during other times of the month. For Dr. Glendon . . . was a werewolf.

The Cornell graduate had first begun transforming into a werewolf in 1995, when he was twenty-seven. The transformation originated from a bite Glendon endured from a wolf during the night of a full moon. Since then, he was careful to protect others from his nightmarish alter ego. Each month, when the night of the full moon came, he would retreat deep into the woods and bury himself in a highly blockaded underground cave, with the complex route of escape only known by the human Glendon, therefore trapping the bloodthirsty werewolf until the next morning, when the reverse transformation would occur. However, in May of 2017, the barbaric creature found a way out. The Wolf Man freed himself from bondage and leapt from the cave, as dangerous and wicked as ever. He quickly found his way into the town and listened to his basic instinct: attack! Thirteen people were injured, and more carnage would have ensued if the varmint hadn’t been quickly scared off by shotguns and axes. For the residential area in which Glendon lived wasn’t the . . . classiest of communities.

When Glendon awoke the next morning outside of the cave, he knew something must have gone wrong. He swiftly discovered the rumors about sightings of a “large walking dog with a six-pack”. He instantly packed up and travelled as far away as possible, where he was soon graced by the arrival of . . . Lord Dreadful.

Dr. Glendon knew the visit couldn’t lead to much good when an incredibly thin, tall man all in black with a gray, wrinkled, scarred face entered his apartment. Well, long story short, he was right. Lord Dreadful or, as he eccentrically preferred to be called, “Lord Cuteness”, told Glendon about a plan he was forming for Halloween of that year in which a group of “monsters” would gather to attack cities across the globe, capturing children and adults alike. Their goal? As Dreadful called it, “The dawn of a new era. We will be . . . immortals.”

Whatever Dreadful was referring to, Glendon didn’t like it. He humbly declined the offer, but Dreadful didn’t leave. Instead, he conjured a spell that cursed Glendon and forced him to remain in werewolf form for as long as Dreadful desired and do as Dreadful cruelly requested. Dreadful then took this Wolf Man with him to Monster Manor, where he became an addition to the “monster mash” that Dreadful assembled: Count Dracula, Frankenstein’s Monster, Witch Miriam, Wizard Marius, Skeleton, Jack O’Lantern, and the Invisible Man.

That Halloween, the Wolf Man aided in Dreadful’s master plan to abduct hundreds, if not thousands, of children and adults. The hideous overlord planned to suck them of their youth, sustaining himself for hundreds more years, while repaying the monsters by providing them a sanctuary where they would not be tormented by the outside world.

The monsters hit one city before the operation was shut down, as the creatures involuntarily let the first batch of villagers escape Monster Manor, Dreadful became irate and disintegrated Frankenstein, Witch Miriam, and the Wolf Man himself.

Being a creation of little intelligence, the Wolf Man believed himself dead when he subsequently appeared in an unknown room, where he was surrounded by gold. Soon, he discovered that he was being imprisoned by a mysterious force even more sinister than Lord Dreadful. He remained there for a year, being studied and forced to perform laborious works.

The Wolf Man gained some hope to escape his incarceration when he, Witch Miriam, and Frankenstein (the latter two had also been disintegrated in 2017) were transferred to a new facility in an isolated part of New York State, called “Eerie Estate” on Halloween 2018. However, this “lair” was even more intricate, and designed specially to keep the prisoners from fleeing. That same night, Jack O’Lantern and Skeleton appeared out of thin air at this new mansion, and underwent a similar immediate imprisonment process to the Wolf Man and Witch Miriam. Later that night, Count Dracula arrived on a giant green dragon (who later turned out to be a cursed Wizard Marius) with a kidnapped Invisible Man, who was also jailed along with Marius. Though Dracula and the mysterious force, commonly referred to as “Master”, attempted to keep everything that had occurred the past two Halloweens under wraps (not to imply that Master was a mummy), the Invisible Man informed the Wolf Man, Frankenstein, and Witch Miriam that Dreadful had been chased off by and succeeded by Dracula the year prior, but the count’s reign was even more vicious. He laid out a similar plan for that year’s Halloween, but it was botched when Pennywise the Dancing Clown, a one-time recruit, failed to capture the requested number of children. After Pennywise escaped Dracula’s wrath, the monsters revolted, but were unable to overcome Dracula’s centuries-old power, and thus were sent to Eerie Estate, where they would be kept in case needed for another mission. The Wolf Man was able to comprehend this information, as he had gained a heightened sense of intelligence over the past year.

The Wolf Man and his fellow companions remained at Eerie Estate for another year, but that all changed during the Halloween of 2019. Wizard Marius’ sorcery grew in strength, and he was able to break them all out of their claustrophobic cells. They then banded together with Dracula to defeat Slappy the Dummy, his wicked army, and Dracula and Dreadful’s collective “Master”, who turned out to be Chucky the Doll – but in actuality was truly a disguised Beetlejuice, though not a single soul was yet aware of that . . . at least in the realm to which Wolf Man and the others resided.

Now everything was back to normal. Lord Dreadful had been defeated. Slappy had been defeated. Master had been defeated. Dracula had changed. Now the Wolf Man could revert back to his human form . . . or could he? Dreadful had gained his powers from a supernatural synchrony with Master, allowing Master’s powers to flow through Dreadful. This meant that the Wolf Man’s curse truly meant that he would remain in monster from for as long as Master desired. But Master was dead . . . wasn’t he? This baffled everyone, especially the Invisible Man, who studied the perplexing curse and deducted that Master was still alive.

But, this was not the main problem for the Wolf Man. His sole issue was that he was to remain in werewolf form for awhile longer; Count Dracula was incapable of reversing the spell’s effects. The vampire had been gravely injured during the Halloween battle at Eerie Estate, and had used the practical remainder of his magic to curse out Slappy the Dummy. He was still reeling from the aftermath of the battle’s effects, recuperating to regain his strength and help the Wolf Man. However, plans, as they often did, changed when an incident provoked Dracula to flee Eerie Estate in bat form, never to be seen thereafter. It seemed as though the Wolf Man was damned for life.

That was until the evening of September 21, 2021, almost two years later. It was the night after the full moon. The Wolf Man was out prowling the woods behind Horrifying Hall, the monsters’ new home, which was located in the middle of basically nowhere as to avoid being tracked down by the FBI. The woods were completely quiet until . . . a voice.

“Hey, Wolfy.”

It was a deep, gritty, unnatural voice. When the Wolf Man turned around, before him stood a . . . something. Was it an unattractive clown? Maybe a revolting ghost? Or just a grotesque goblin? Even the Wolf Man was baffled, and he had seen a lot of disturbing creatures. Whatever this freak was, it was indeed hideous. Over its grimy, oily, misshapen body dwelled a layer of thick, pasty, peeling sheet white skin. Its smile was as hideous as the remainder of its stringy, wild green hair over its disgusting, rotting, balding head. A coat of green grease dripped from its hair, face, and body, staining the red Hawaiian shirt and oversized button-up coat it donned. Finally, placed over its head was a rather large cap that said “GUIDE”. Everything about this . . . thing was simply repulsive; except for the Converse Chuck Taylors he wore, which were in mint condition.

The Wolf Man, having been in hiding and not used to seeing a non-trustworthy monster, instantly fled. One would think the inverse would’ve occurred, but having to be shielded from any other life prompted the “flight” response in the Wolf Man. However, his escape was cut short when he suddenly felt the inability to, well . . . move. This was when he realized that he was frozen in midair. He was a subject of the Paralyzing Curse.

The Wolf Man’s foul offender quickly bound over to the frightened beast, skipping along as though it were a cheerful schoolgirl. It stopped less than an inch from the Wolf Man’s face, making bothersome silly faces – it was an even more appalling creation up close. Once done operating its facial features in unsettling ways, its head spun around like a top, rotating so rapidly the Wolf Man could feel a breeze brush against his face. After getting bored whirling its noggin about in circles, it decided to move onto the next activity for playtime: it danced around while sticking its tongue out, putting on a show for the werewolf that, as a Broadway show, would almost certainly appeal to those that wished to inflict intense psychological torment unto themselves.

Finally, the creature stopped. But what happened next was even worse. . . . It calmly walked up to the Wolf Man and, once close enough, leaned back, worked up some mucus . . . and spit on the monster.

And oh, did the Wolf Man see it coming. The slimy glob hurled through the air, seemingly in slow-motion, casually and almost methodically approaching its aim . . . and it hit. The ice cold green saliva hit the Wolf Man and slowly ran down its face, leaving a mark so mentally scarring that it could never be washed off, no matter how much cerebral soap one applied. The “spitter” rolled on the floor, roaring with laughter.

The Wolf Man wished more than anything to break free of its uncomfortable form and attack his offender, but it was impossible with the power that his enemy held over him.

“You’re an easy target!” cackled the perpetrator. “FYI, you’ll need to live in the bath for a week!

After its fit of laughter ended, the maniac hopped up onto the ground and casually said, “Now let’s do this thing.”

Suddenly, a storm cloud rolled over the forest. The ground shook, bringing down loose tree branches. Lightning struck and hit the unknown weirdo, who suddenly exerted nothing but power. It conjured up a spell and shot green light out of its hands, which shot the Wolf Man. This broke the mutant out of the Paralyzing Curse, landing him on the ground. However, an unexplained weakness and extreme sense of fear engulfed the werewolf, preventing him from standing or even moving. He laid on the ground, shaking and howling while the evil sorcerer watched on, laughing. But this wasn’t the worst part for the Wolf Man. He could feel something he hadn’t experienced in years. He was . . . transforming.

Shrinking was the first manifestation. The Wolf Man gradually withered from his beastly form to that of a typical human size. His thick hair all across his body began disappearing, while his sharp teeth changed to that of a homo sapiens’ chompers. His long, pointy ears twisted into a different shape, and his muscles drastically reduced. He let out one last howl before . . . he was gone. The Werewolf Man was out, Dr. Wilfred Glendon was in.

Or an extremely feeble, sickly, and drained version of Dr. Wilfred Glendon, so weak he could barely lift an eyelid; radically changed from the last time he was seen. A thick layer of unkept hair practically clothed him, mostly thanks to his new massive, untamed beard. He was also severely thin, his ribcage and other bones clearly visible. He was no Wolf Man.

Dr. Glendon dimly saw what appeared to be the crazed wizard-of-sorts wildly jumping around in glee, eventually busting a move that Glendon recognized as “the Worm”. It sped over to Glendon and lifted his eyelid, pressing his eyeball up against its. It screamed, “IT WORKED!!!”, then kicked Glendon, who rolled over.

The ghoul reached into its coat pocket and remarked to Glendon, “You might wanna cover yerself up, Mr. Duck Dynasty,” then threw a speedo at him. “Oh,” it continued, “and tell your friends I said . . . hi.” It belted out its signature cackle, then moved its fingers about in a circular pattern; soon, a portal appeared in front of it.

“Let’s do this again sometime, Wolfy! Until then, buh-bye!” It roared with sinister laughter, hopped into the “doorway”, and disappeared along with the portal, leaving Glendon alone to shiver and pass out.

Darkness.

Until . . .

Glendon could . . . feel again. He slowly became aware of his existence once more. He opened his eyes . . . he was awoken.

But he was more confused than ever. He clearly recognized that he was clothed and shaved in a grandiose bed located in a rather bleak room. Eggshell-colored walls, the wooden floor, a small flat-screen TV, and a tea station set up on a nearby table were all that the room had to offer. Glendon observed all this while frightfully asking dozens of questions to himself in his head. “Where am I?” “How much time has passed?” “Who found me?” “Who transformed me back into a human?”

Dr. Glendon looked at everything intently, searching for any indication of what could be happening. He was able to control his fear somewhat . . . until he saw something unexplainable.

The tea kettle on the table was moving, almost floating in midair. It appeared to lift itself up and pour tea into one of the tea cups. It set itself down. Then the tea cup moved, too! It came up a few feet in the air, turned at angle, and stopped . . . but Glendon could see the tea almost disappearing from the cup. It was if someone was drinking from it . . . an invisible someone.

Glendon considered the possibility that potential pain medication he had perhaps been given was causing hallucinations, but he knew this was too real to be fake. The tea cup was set down, and more was poured in from the kettle. Upon continuing to see this, Glendon shrieked.

The tea cup fell from the air and shattered. Glendon could hear another voice screaming over his. After a few seconds of this, the door slammed open and monsters of varying terrorization degrees entered the room. First came a creation unlike anything Glendon had ever beheld – the body of a very thin human with a massive pumpkin for a head: Jack O’Lantern. Next entered what appeared to be the structure of a common body, except without the flesh, blood, or muscle: Skeleton. Subsequently, a rather unattractive green-skinned woman shot into the room on a flying broomstick: Witch Miriam. Following her was an elderly man with a long grey beard donning an oversized hat and colorful robes: Wizard Marius, the least abhorrent of the creatures. And just when Glendon believed the horror to be over, one final monster completed its path to the doorway – a ghastly and appalling sight, it was a nine-foot-tall creation, green and scarred, with bolts prodding out of its neck, sticking its arms out as it lurched forward: Frankenstein’s Monster, which collapsed part of the wall as it entered. Additionally, there was indeed an Invisible Man present in the room, as evidenced by the stains of tea that were floating in midair.

Utterly and completely terror-stricken, Dr. Glendon crawled out of his bed and landed on the floor. However, he was more frail than he first realized. The blow to the ground hurt like (*censored to keep the PG rating*)! He yelled out in pain and squirmed over to the closest window. He knew his plan to jump out would likely kill him, but it was better than being torn apart by these monsters.

Or perhaps not, as Glendon peeked out the window to see he was at least five stories high. After throwing up in his mouth, he grabbed the window cranker, ripped it off, and held it in front of him to . . . defend himself? He was very much working with what he had.

“Stay back, every one of you!” he screeched.

“Puny weapon!” shouted back Frankenstein, approaching Glendon.

“Wait, wait!” another voice interjected. “Everybody STOP!”

Frankenstein stopped walking. Everybody held still, except Glendon, who was quivering out of fear. It became apparent this voice belonged to the Invisible Man.

“Dr. Glendon,” continued the unseen mediator, “we are not here to harm you. We are here to help you. We’ve been taking care of you for the last week.”

Glendon was, in a word, baffled. So filled with questions, he could barely utter a word, but he eventually managed to form a sentence, albeit rather short: “WHO ARE YOU?!”

“Yes,” answered the imperceptible voice, “of course you’re wondering that. We are monsters. Now – “

“Hold the phone,” interrupted Witch Miriam. “Didn’t we agree the ‘M’ word is hurtful. Huh? Heh? Or is it just me?”

“Agreed!” rallied Skeleton. “Just because I’m fleshless doesn’t mean I’m a MONSTER!

“Preach, my brother!” concurred Jack O’Lantern, who held up his hand for a high-five. Skeleton granted his wish, but at the cost of his own finger and wrist bones falling onto the ground. Skeleton emitted a loud shriek and began reassembling his left hand.

Frankenstein ensured that the “M” word argument lived on, opining, “I thought we all agreed that we’d identify ourselves as the Ragtag Riches? Or do we just completely abandon each other’s ideas?”

“The Ragtag Riches sounds like the name of a failed band from the ’60s,” added Wizard Marius. “But, I do agree, the ‘M’ word is offensive.”

“Alright!” exclaimed the Invisible Man, turning his focus back to the perturbed Dr. Glendon. “We are . . . individuals. With a very particular set of skills . . . “

“Isn’t that from Taken?” muttered Jack O’Lantern.

“. . . skills that make us appear dangerous to the outside world, when in fact we are not. Well, mostly.”

Even though Glendon couldn’t see it, he knew that the Invisible Man was shifting his eyes toward Frankenstein, who was now eating part of the wall he had collapsed.

Glendon was able to calm down enough so he could listen to what the monsters had to say. They explained to him that he had been with them since 2017, for four years, but as the Wolf Man. Witch Miriam had found him in the woods twenty-three hours after he had first gone missing, and took him back to Horrifying Hall, where he had been cared for by Sally, who he learned was a humanoid ragdoll given life by Dr. Finkelstein in Halloween Town – but Halloween Town was a whole other subject. After the events of 2019’s Halloween, Sally decided to stay in the real world and not return to Halloween Town, as she had lost her only friend, Jack Skellington, in the battle at Eerie Estate. But after Count Dracula sucked the blood of a reporter on Thanksgiving 2019 and forever tarnished the monsters’ reputations, she went into hiding away from the FBI, and lived on an abandoned farm not too far from Horrifying Hall, dropping in a few times a month, making her visits scarce so as not to be noticed.

Glendon was caught up to speed on everything that had occurred in the last four years, but it was a lot to take in for someone who literally hadn’t been himself for over 1500 days. He also learned to trust the monsters, who weren’t nearly as malicious as he initially thought.

Over time, he was nursed back to health by Sally, and eventually started walking with a cane. He planned to leave Horrifying Hall in time to search for a cure . . . before the next full moon.

In his time at Horrifying Hall, he learned to enjoy the monsters’ company and converse with them about a variety of topics, including his passion for the atomic bomb. While there, he was also convinced by Skeleton to conduct an experiment on Frankenstein that would hopefully transform him into a less intimidating figure, by wiring his brain to think more like a human and less like the monster he had been regarded as. However, the experiment went terribly wrong, instead causing Frankenstein to slur his speech and talk in minimal and often confusing sentences.

This was proof to Dr. Glendon that he was, for the moment, unable to be where he was five years ago intellectually. The effects of being the Wolf Man for four years were certainly taking a toll on him. He couldn’t help Frankenstein, much less create a cure for himself. He needed help.

Dr. Glendon decided to leave Horrifying Hall on October 15th to go in search of someone who he was told could help with his unfortunate condition. Before he departed, though, he was pulled aside by the Invisible Man, who had begun wrapping himself in toilet paper at the request of Glendon and the monsters.

“Willy,” started Invisible, “I need to ask you one more time: do you remember anything?”

Dr. Glendon searched his memory one more time. “No, I really don’t. It’s all echoes . . . something once in awhile might ring a bell, but other than that, it’s extremely fuzzy.”

“Hmm,” thought the Invisible Man out loud.

There was a pause.

Until Dr. Glendon said, “Except . . . I suppose I haven’t been entirely honest.”

“How so?” inquired the Invisible Man.

“Well,” began Glendon, checking to ensure nobody was eavesdropping, “I do remember somewhat the night that I transformed.”

“What? What do you remember?” The Invisible Man was clearly eager to hear this new update.

“I remember somewhat who . . . transformed me.”

“WHAT?!” shouted the Invisible Man loudly.

“Shh!” shushed Dr. Glendon.

They waited a minute to see if anybody would come check on them. They didn’t. The Invisible Man restarted the conversation.

“You were transformed by somebody? You told us all you simply reverted back to human form for no reason whatsoever.”

“I lied,” admitted Dr. Glendon. “I was concerned that if I told you, something might happen. But I now see that wasn’t the best decision.”

“Well, who was it?” grilled Invisible.

Glendon described what had taken place, revealing all that his mind could remember about the insane assailant (what a nice tongue-twister) who had cursed him in the woods that night. Once finished, the Invisible Man sighed deeply.

The Invisible Man reached into his TP-suit and unveiled a postcard that had been sent in the mail . . . a postcard from Halloween Town. Glendon gave the Invisible Man a worried look and took the card from him, reading what it said on the back:

Hey, Wolfy Boy! Hope yer doin’ alright! I’m doin’ better than ever, thanks fer askin’. Just workin’ on a little . . . plan, per say. Life in Halloween Town is nirvana, baby! (The place, not the band, idiot.) So, just wanted to say: GET WELL, GET WELL SOON, I WANT YOU TO GET WELL. *Maniacal laugh*

Love,
Juicy Boy

Glendon alarmingly turned to the Invisible Man and demanded, “How long have you been hiding this?”

The Invisible Man reluctantly replied, “Over two weeks. I didn’t tell anyone because I didn’t want the monsters to panic, but . . . Master is alive. And he’s Beetlejuice.”

“Gasp!” said Glendon. “Oh, to provide some context, I can’t gasp very well, but a gasp is very clearly needed in certain situations, and I’m just realizing now that that is not the biggest concern. . . . “

“Listen, Willy,” continued Invisible, “let’s keep this between you and me. Beetlejuice is weakened, he can’t try his master plan all over again. The monsters have enough on their plate avoiding the FBI, if we add this, they’ll go cocoa for hot chocolate.”

“I . . . don’t . . . think . . . that’s the . . . whatever,” responded Glendon. “I don’t think this is the best decision. Beetlejuice clearly has a plan, why else would he transform me? But this isn’t my main priority, my sole purpose now is to abolish the beast that dwells within me before he strikes again and I’m gone for . . . perhaps forever.”

With that, Dr. Glendon bid farewell to the monsters and went his own way, traveling incognito in case the FBI had a picture of Glendon or knew his name.

After several plane trips and bus stops, Glendon had arrived in London at the residence of Dr. Henry Jekyll, whom he suspected could help him with his “issue” of sorts.

There he stood in Dr. Jekyll’s cabin, a bit shocked that he had finally made it to his destination.

“Dr. Glendon,” said Dr. Jekyll with a smile as he rose from his desk, “so nice to finally meet you. Please, have a seat.” He gestured to the chair facing his desk.

Dr. Glendon took off his coat and hat, hanging them up, subsequently taking his place in the comfortable chair.

“Thank you for coming,” said Dr. Jekyll cheerfully. A tall, lean, 50-something doctor, Jekyll was extremely well-respected by many for his bizarre but ultimately healing remedies.

“Thanks for having me. Nice abode you have here,” replied Dr. Glendon, his voice now groveled and rough as a result of the exhaustion he’d endured the previous few travel-heavy days. “Pardon my manners, but can we, uh . . . cut to the chase? Tomorrow night is the full moon, which means I could have less than twenty-four hours left in this body.”

“Not to be concerned,” assured Dr. Jekyll. “I’ve looked over your, should we say, problem, and I think I’ve figured out a solution.”

Glendon was thrilled to hear these words. To avoid detection by the FBI, he had written Jekyll letters in code, and Glendon hired a personal private assistant to fly over samples of his DNA and cells to Jekyll across the pond in England. The risks of being discovered by the government were too great to wave off.

“That’s fantastic news, Doctor!” exclaimed Dr. Glendon. “Is this cure ready?”

Dr. Jekyll smiled. “Almost, Dr. Glendon. I must just contribute a few more ingredients before it can be fully prepared. But, not to worry, it will be ready before tomorrow night’s full moon. You won’t be an American werewolf in London.”

Dr. Glendon leaned back and sighed with relief. He was more than ready to purge himself of the horrible monster that had overtaken him for four years. He began to thank Dr. Jekyll, but was interrupted when something suddenly crashed into the cottage, destroying the ceiling and part of its walls.

Glendon fell out of his chair and looked ahead at the rubble and . . . something else, that was merely a few feet from him.

“Glendon, are you okay?!” bellowed the worried. Dr. Jekyll. Glendon lifted his hand and waved to signal he was not injured.

At least for now.

The pile of wreckage and rubble suddenly exploded and flew everywhere, revealing the creature that hid beneath. It slowly stood up, revealing its shocking height – it stood at least ten-feet-tall. Dressed all in black robes, it lifted its long, wrinkled hands up and flipped its hood back.

Dr. Glendon recognized this vile force of nature. It was was a monster.

It was Lord Dreadful.

Glendon backed away as far as he could, and reached inside his coat to pull out a revolver. Fully loaded, he shot it at Dreadful, but it was no use. He dodged the bullets, showed his classic vicious smile, and reached his arm out, grabbing Glendon by the throat. He brought him up to his shriveled, dry, disgusting face and laughed, as evil as ever.

“Hello again . . . Willy.”

Glendon was able to get a few words out: “How . . . find . . . me?”

Dreadful cackled again and pointed with his lengthy, bony finger to where Dr. Jekyll was.

But it was no longer Dr. Jekyll.

It was instead a repugnant, disturbing, horrid beast. Truly a beast, with looks one could not even possibly imagine. Hunched over, short, and rather chunky, it was indeed the complete opposite of Dr. Jekyll.

Lord Dreadful introduced Dr. Glendon. “Meet . . . Mr. Hyde.”

With that, Lord Dreadful opened a portal and stepped through it, Dr. Wilfred Glendon still in hand, with Mr. Edward Hyde following.

Maximum FBI Detainment Center, October 31, 7:00 P.M.

Almost two weeks later, the Invisible Man, Frankenstein’s Monster, Witch Miriam, Wizard Marius, Jack O’Lantern, Skeleton, and Sally have been imprisoned at a top-notch, maximum security government prison run by Agent Herbert M. “Rusty” Rovenfeld, located in the middle of what appeared to be nowhere. But there are no windows, so it’s difficult to tell.

The monsters are the only inmates there. They can barely even see each other, with each prisoner allowed only one visit per day. They’ve been there since the evening of October 29th. The result? Pure torture.

Not even mentioning the meals, the routine is a worse punishment than the imprisonment most of them had faced under “Master” a couple years prior. They’re forced to perform certain tasks, with Agent Rovenfeld and others studying how they operated.

Now it is the night of Halloween. A night filled with lots of memories for each monster, both good and bad. Joyful and horrendous.

The Invisible Man had expected the night to be fairly inactive. Oh, but he was wrong.

Outside of his jail cell, the Invisible Man sees dozens of FBI agents and military troopers rushing through the base full speed ahead. Something had clearly happened. Something big.

About fifteen minutes later, the Invisible Man sees a figure approaching his cell. A figure donning colorful robes and a rather ridiculous hat. It was Wizard Marius.

“Marius?!” proclaimed the Invisible Man. “How did you escape?”

Marius begins unlocking the door to the Invisible Man’s prison chamber as he talks. “Long story short, all humans in this base are gone. For the full scoop, follow me.”

With his door now open, the Invisible Man rushes through and follows Marius, his heart pumping. It’s all very rushed. Too rushed for the Invisible Man, who prefers to take things slowly.

He makes his way with Marius to a room marked “Agents Only”, a rather large, comfortable space that almost resembles a cushy living room, even featuring a large flat-screen television. In there are Sally, Frankenstein, Witch Miriam, Jack O’Lantern, and Skeleton. All the other prisoners.

“What’s going on?” inquires the Invisible Man, wondering if it’s good or bad.

Everyone else is glued to the TV screen. A news report comes on, reciting information so quickly the Invisible Man can barely take it in. News shots show people scrambling, children in costumes running. Utter mayhem and panic.

And over a large city looms . . . “Master”. Beetlejuice is back. And having more fun than ever.

“What’s going on?!” shouts the Invisible Man. “WHAT’S GOING ON?!”

“Beetlejuice back!” answers Frankenstein. “He taking lots of people!”

The Invisible Man is speechless, suffering from complete and total shock. “What have I done?”

Hotel Transylvania, Romania, October 31, 7:17 P.M. (American Time)

A vampire is sitting in his office, atop the highest floor on the biggest monster hotel in the world. Well, the only monster hotel in this world.

Suddenly, his door bursts open. The vampire’s assistant rushes in, perspiring and breathless.

“We . . . need . . . ELEVATOR!” the apprentice yells.

“Vhat is it?”

“Some big beetle is attacking New York!”

The aide grabs the remote sitting on the vampire’s wooden desk and clicks the “ON” button. The TV pops on.

The same report plays. The vampire is speechless.

“What have I done?” says Count Dracula.

The monsters will return.

There it is! Part V of the Halloween story is complete . . . at least Part I of Part V. This volume isn’t fully over. Two more parts will come soon, likely during Halfway to Halloween next year. But don’t worry, they’ll be written before next year’s Halloween. The Halloween post of 2023 will be the final chapter in this big story! But I’ll keep writing an annual post after that, even if it is a little different.

But I’m getting ahead of myself! I hope you (that’s right, YOU, reader!) had a spooktacular Halloween, and I’ll be back with more PWK content soon. Looking at some Christmas posts in particular . . .

Happy Halloween!

Whiz Kid out

Post-Credits Scene: Dozens of families are being hauled into Halloween Town. The town square has become the headquarters of Beetlejuice’s entire operation.

Pennywise the Dancing Clown has one giant bag of people, Mr. Edward Hyde another. Lord Dreadful stands with Slappy the Dummy and the concerned Dr. Wilfred Glendon at a cauldron as the Sanderson Sisters fly around the downtown.

A large portal opens up near the cauldron, and Master Beetlejuice steps out of it, dressed in his signature black-and-white suit. A sense of barbarous joy spreads across his face.

“Well . . . YA READY?!” he yells.

All his cronies nod.

“THEN LET’S DO IT!” he screams, even louder.

He jumps up to Dr. Glendon and makes random noises in his ear. The classic Beetlejuice schtick.

Dr. Glendon takes a giant spoon and stirs the potion in the cauldron around as Beetlejuice picks up a large spell book and begins reciting a curse from it.

“Yaba . . . doobie . . . doolah . . . shoolie . . . rubba duckay en mi shoo!”

All of a sudden, the ground shakes and a green color stemming from the cauldron spreads across the entire town. The potion boils, and . . .

The bags filled with humans disappear.

Beetlejuice takes a minute to process this. Perplexed, he turns to Glendon.

“Wha . . . WHAT WENT WRONG THERE, GLENDY-BOY?!”

Dr. Glendon simply smiles. “I guess you shouldn’t have trusted a human with creating your potion.”

Beetlejuice trips backward. Treason! Who would ever want to betray the best boss ever?!

“Why’d you do this? WHY?!”

Dr. Glendon calmly answers. “I guess it just proves that even when you win . . . you can still lose.”

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Star Wars Day 2022: A Quick Post! https://planetwhizkid.com/2022/05/star-wars-day-2022-a-quick-post/ Thu, 05 May 2022 02:17:55 +0000 https://planetwhizkid.com/?p=735 Xbox's 'May the 4th be with you' sale offers titles up to 75 percent off

Hi there users of the Force, or, as Obi-Wan would say:

Hello There Obi Wan GIFs | Tenor

For those of you who often read Planet Whiz Kid, you’ll know that I always post something for May the 4th, even if it isn’t very long. The last two years, I’ve debuted some “Versus” writings I typed up a few years ago. Also last year, I posted a Google Doc featuring a popular theory about Dave Filoni and his secret mastermind plan to destroy Star Wars. (Well, it’s really not that popular, there’s not even anything on Reddit about it, and when it comes to that extent, you know you’re in trouble!)

So, this year, I’m going to paste that theory I wrote in 2019 and have since revised in the years ensuing. Whether or not I 100% believe this, I have yet to comment on. 😉

But, quickly before that, I’d like to run through some of Lucasfilm’s Star Wars projects this year. Let’s get going!

Obi-Wan Kenobi

obi wan kenobi poster
  • 6 Episodes
  • Release: 2 episodes on Friday, May 27, 2022, with following episodes releasing weekly on Wednesdays until June 22
  • Director: Deborah Chow
  • Head Writer: Joby Harold
  • Cast: Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Moses Ingram, Rupert Friend, Sung Kang, Joel Edgerton, Bonnie Piesse, Kumail Nanjiani, O’Shea Jackson Jr., Simone Kessell, Indira Varma
  • Timeline: 9 BBY (10 Years After Revenge of the Sith and 9 Years Before A New Hope)
  • Whiz Kid’s Anticipation Level: 9/10

Andor Season 1

Andor Season 1 Premiere, Trailer, Cast
  • 12 Episodes
  • Release: TBA (Reportedly August 2022)
  • Directors: Ben Caron, Toby Haynes, Susanna White
  • Head Writer: Tony Gilroy
  • Cast: Diego Luna, Stellan Skarsgård, Genevieve O’Reilly, Forest Whitaker, Fiona Shaw, Adria Arjona, Denise Gough, Kyle Soller, Robert Emms, David Hayman
  • Timeline: 5 BBY (5 Years Prior to Rogue One)
  • Whiz Kid’s Anticipation Level: 6.5/10

The Bad Batch Season 2

Star Wars: The Bad Batch – Season 2 Release Window Revealed | What's On  Disney Plus
  • TBA Episodes (16 for Season 1)
  • Release: TBA
  • Creator: Dave Filoni
  • Voice Cast: Dee Bradley Baker, Michelle Ang
  • Timeline: C. 19 BBY
  • Whiz Kid’s Anticipation Level: 4/10

The Mandalorian Season 3

The Mandalorian' Season 3 Set Photos Tease the Return of Season 2 Character  - Star Wars News Net
  • 8 Episodes
  • Release: TBA (Reportedly Fall 2022)
  • Directors: Jon Favreau, Carl Weathers
  • Writer: Jon Favreau
  • Cast: Pedro Pascal, Giancarlo Esposito, Carl Weathers, Christopher Lloyd, Misty Rosas
  • Timeline: C. 11 ABY (11 Years After A New Hope and 6 Years After Return of the Jedi)
  • Whiz Kid’s Anticipation Level: 9/10

So, there’s this year’s rundown! But, there are still more TV shows to come in 2023 and beyond, including Ahsoka and Lando, with a film directed by Patty Jenkins (Wonder Woman) called Rogue Squadron in the works for Christmas 2023. Plus, there will be no short of announcements and teases at this year’s Star Wars Celebration, coming later this month! I’ll give more details near the end of this post.

But, now moving onto my theory. Please refrain from referring to me as a conspiracy theorist in the comments! 🚫

Ladies and gentlemen, throw some popcorn in the microwave, kick back in your special massage recliner, and relax as you listen to this written persuasive essay . . . assuming you can convert it to audio.

Enjoy!

All Star Wars Movies Ranked Worst to Best — Star Wars Films Ranked in Order

THE DESTRUCTION OF STAR WARS

A Persuasive Essay by Whiz Kid

Starring James Cameron, Dave Filoni, Gareth Edwards, J. J. Abrams, Simon Pegg, Bob Iger, Rian Johnson, Colin Trevorrow, Ron Howard, Christopher Nolan, Sigourney Weaver, Harrison Ford, Gary Whitta, Vanessa Morrison, Phil Lord, Chris Miller, Michael Dante DiMartino, Bryan Konietzko, with Jon Favreau, with Kathleen Kennedy, and George Lucas

Everyone on earth has heard of Star Wars. Who hasn’t heard of it? A large majority of people have also likely heard of the animated Star Wars television shows Star Wars: The Clone Wars and Star Wars Rebels, which both aired on Cartoon Network. If you’ve watched these shows, you’ll know that the creator of them is Dave Filoni, also the creator of an animated television show called Avatar: The Last Airbender. Unbeknownst to most, Filoni is – or rather, was – secretly planning the destruction of Star Wars, with help from his boss James Cameron, and fellow ally Gareth Edwards. With several recruits such as Simon Pegg, Jon Favreau, Colin Trevorrow, and others helping these evil masterminds, Star Wars is at risk. Let me explain to you why.

This goes all the way back to 1977, when the first Star Wars film was released in theaters worldwide. A twenty-two-year-old named James Cameron watched this film in the theater . . . and loathed it. He believed that a real movie had to have a better story, a more grabbing plot, and even finer stunning effects. When the film grossed immensely at the box office, Cameron became angry, and managed to arrange a meeting with George Lucas, creator of the franchise, in 1983, months after the end of the trilogy. Cameron pitched Lucas his views, and the Lucasfilm president saw incredible potential in Cameron as a film director. Lucas agreed with Cameron, and said that he would try to make the franchise as forgettable as possible. Cameron then went on to direct The Terminator in 1984 in an attempt to sabotage Star Wars and make more money than it did at the box office, though the endeavor failed. However, Cameron made a comeback, and directed Titanic thirteen years later, which grossed more than Star Wars and became the highest grossing film of all time. With his plan coming together, Cameron planned another film to demolish the box office: Avatar. Meanwhile, Lucas made a dent in Star Wars when he made the beginning of the prequel trilogy, Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace, which, despite good box office numbers, nearly ruined the franchise, pleasing Cameron. With everything coming together, Cameron noticed a twenty-five-year-old named Dave Filoni in 1999, who was extremely similar to Cameron at that age, wanting to direct movies that would transcend the typical film and gross the most at the box office. Finding this, Cameron hired Filoni to work for him and introduced him to Lucas. While Cameron worked further on his plan, Lucas became a mentor to Filoni, preparing him to create an animated TV show called Star Wars: The Clone Wars, which would help their cause and continue to crumble Star Wars. During training for this, Cameron had Filoni play a major role in an upcoming TV show called Avatar: The Last Airbender, which was originally going to be a set-up about Cameron’s upcoming Avatar film, but Filoni thought it would be too obvious that they were working together if he did that, so he convinced the creators of the series to make it about something else.

After closing the chapter on The Last Airbender in 2008, Filoni, Cameron, and Lucas were ready to air The Clone Wars. The trio were ready for it to fail, due to the fact that they crafted a Clone Wars film in August 2008 and released it on the same day that the series aired on Cartoon Network. The film ended up bombing at the box office and receiving extremely poor reviews. The first season of the show likewise received poor reviews, but as the series progressed, it summoned up a large fan following, and eventually succeeded. Throughout the years it aired, Cameron wanted to continue making it worse and worse, but Lucas surprisingly differed with him on several aspects of the series. Filoni was caught in the middle between the man who gave him a career (Cameron) and his mentor (Lucas).

During this time, Cameron finally finished up his film Avatar, which released in 2009, and became the highest grossing film of all time, even more so than Titanic, due to the new unique 3D style. The film also received a large fan following, pleasing the trio exceedingly. As The Clone Wars continued its reign, Filoni met with Gareth Edwards in 2010, who was directing a Godzilla film slated to release in 2014. Filoni, a fan of Godzilla, saw potential in Edwards, and asked if he would want to be recruited to help destroy Star Wars. Edwards, also a loather of Star Wars, agreed to this, and joined the group, deciding to thank Filoni by arranging a sequel to Godzilla, originally slated to release in 2016, though it was eventually pushed back to 2019. As a massive Godzilla enthusiast, Filoni was thrilled.

With their plan succeeding, Lucas secretly made a massive change by deciding to sell Lucasfilm to Walt Disney Studios. Though Lucas would no longer be President, he decided that he could not continue to run the company, and had to hand it off to someone else. When Filoni, Cameron, and Edwards found out just days before the transaction was to be made, Cameron became rageful, threatening Lucas, even going so far to say that he would prosecute him. But, Filoni, Cameron, and Edwards came up with a plan: the new President of Lucasfilm would be Filoni, but Edwards thought that it would be too obvious, as Filoni hadn’t done enough for Star Wars to become President yet, and people might become suspicious. Lucas instead decided to hand the CEO and President position over to the most skilled person he knew and a lifelong friend, Kathleen Kennedy. However, being gullible, Cameron realized that if Kennedy became the President, Filoni would be able to persuade her to eventually promote him to a high-level position, and he could run and ruin the franchise once and for all. The deal was completed, and Lucas received $4.05 billion dollars, which he used to betray the group and retire. Lucas had set up all of the pieces so that he could retire from Star Wars, and hand the story off to someone new who could run the franchise well.

Cameron stalked Lucas as the two played a game of cat and mouse, with the result being Cameron forcefully confronting his former ally, demanding him to never show his face again or he would be sued for billions of dollars. Scared for his life, Lucas rarely spoke about Star Wars again, almost never appearing at conventions or events for his franchise.

With Lucas gone, Filoni, Cameron, and Edwards had to hire more people to help them complete their goal. They somehow managed to find recruits: Sigourney Weaver, a fellow actress in Avatar who Cameron recruited to go undercover on Disney; Harrison Ford, the actor of Han Solo in Star Wars who also disliked the franchise; Christopher Nolan, a famous film director who Cameron had met before; and Jon Favreau, yet another film director who helped support The Clone Wars. With these followers now on their side, the group planned to persuade Kathleen Kennedy to do something drastic. And they did just that. Filoni and Edwards arrived at Lucasfilm headquarters and convinced her that Filoni should make another animated Star Wars TV show called Star Wars Rebels immediately after The Clone Wars would finish its run, and that Edwards should direct the untitled Star Wars film that was to release in December 2016. Kennedy agreed to this, and the two started working on their projects.

Cameron, meanwhile, announced four sequels to Avatar in 2012, and slated Avatar 2 for 2015, and the rest for 2016, 2017, and 2018.  However, Cameron soon realized he made a fatal mistake: the first new Star Wars film was releasing the same time that Avatar 2 was to release, in December 2015. So a few months later, Cameron moved the film up to 2016, and the rest of the sequels followed suit. But in 2016, Edwards’ Star Wars project was going to release, so Cameron moved it to 2017.

While all this was happening, the director of 2009’s Star Trek J.J. Abrams did immense research on Dave Filoni and Gareth Edwards, as he didn’t trust them with Star Wars, and believed that they were planning something behind the scenes, possibly with James Cameron, who he also didn’t trust. After finding strong evidence for his case, Abrams made Kennedy aware of this, and managed to convince her that he should direct the next Star Wars film in 2015, and should produce the 2017 Star Wars film. Kennedy agreed to the deal, and Abrams became part of the Star Wars franchise.

Well aware that Abrams was trying to sabotage them, Filoni, Cameron, Edwards, Favreau, Ford, Weaver, and Nolan hired someone that had worked with Abrams for years: Simon Pegg. Though he had worked with Abrams on multiple films, Pegg hated him, and thought that he should be banned from film forever. Pegg told the group everything they needed to know, and joined the 2015 Star Wars film as a cast member to keep an eye on Abrams. Becoming even more ruthless and powerhungry, Cameron also hired Rian Johnson and Colin Trevorrow to try to convince Kennedy that they should direct the 2017 and 2019 Star Wars films, respectively; moved Avatar 2 up to 2018; bought the rights to a film he planned to release in 2017, Alita: Battle Angel; and forced Favreau to develop a live-action Star Wars TV series that connected to Filoni’s The Clone Wars and Rebels. With The Clone Warsfinished with its run, and Rebels starting up in 2014, Cameron’s future looked bright.

Rian Johnson and Colin Trevorrow approached Kathleen Kennedy to ask if they could direct the two upcoming Star Wars films, and she, like always, agreed. Therefore, Filoni and Cameron started coaching Johnson on how to write the script to set up all the pieces for a total climactic failure of Star Wars. However, Abrams caused problems when he secretly met with the clueless Johnson and told them that Cameron and Filoni were just using him. With pressure on him from all sides, Johnson went solo and instead wrote the film with no guidance from anyone. Trevorrow, however, went where the money was, siding with Filoni and Cameron. He would write his film, titled Duel of the Fates, in a way so that Star Wars would destruct and its fanbase would be diminished.

In 2015, J.J. Abrams was planning to release his film, Star Wars: The Force Awakens. During this time, Cameron wasn’t focusing on Star Wars, but instead a new threat: Marvel Studios. Avengers: Age of Ultron released in May 2015, and Filoni, Cameron, and Edwards saw how big of a threat it could become. So they sent Jon Favreau undercover, as he directed Iron Man and Iron Man 2, and appeared in other Marvel Studios films. Favreau told them that Marvel is unbeatable, and that nobody could destroy it even if they tried. Cameron told him to do the best that he could to defeat Marvel, but Favreau secretly stayed loyal to Marvel Studios, and wouldn’t betray them.

When The Force Awakens released in theaters, it smashed the box office and became the third highest grossing film of all time, behind Cameron’s Avatar and Titanic. This shook Filoni, Cameron, Edwards, Favreau, Pegg, Ford, Trevorrow, Weaver, and Nolan, who became more cautious. Pegg, meanwhile, became enraged at Abrams when this happened, and also became more motivated to destroy Star Wars, while Filoni worked with Favreau on his live-action Star Wars show releasing in 2019. Meanwhile, Johnson had finished his script for the 2017 Force Awakens sequel, and the film started production. Pegg filmed a few scenes for the film, and kept the group updated on what was happening. Simultaneously, Edwards’ film, Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, released in December 2016.  Though critics didn’t think it was as good as The Force Awakens, it managed to make just over a billion dollars worldwide. Frustrated that the film couldn’t match The Force Awakens, Edwards asked Kennedy if he could write and direct a sequel, but she surprisingly said no.

Nervous that the Star Wars film in 2018 would hurt Avatar 2 at the box office, Cameron moved the film up one year again to 2019, though he soon moved it up one more year to 2020, where no Star Wars film had been confirmed to release yet. Filoni was surprised by how cowardly Cameron seemed to be, and finally took the lead on the operation, confronting George Lucas, who had come out of retirement briefly to help with upcoming Star Wars films. Lucas said that he would not let Filoni destroy his creation that he worked to build for years, and that Kennedy and Abrams were the only ones who could truly save Star Wars. They just needed guidance from him.

With their plan starting to fail, things got even worse when Colin Trevorrow was fired from Star Wars: Episode IX (Duel of the Fates) due to differing opinions on the script, and J.J. Abrams replaced him as director, writer, and producer soon after. With Abrams protecting the last shot they had at ruining Star Wars, Filoni fired Colin Trevorrow from helping the group. In December 2017, Rian Johnson released Star Wars: The Last Jedi, which fans had a love-hate relationship with. This slightly pleased the group, as Johnson didn’t know what direction to maneuver Star Wars in.

In May 2018, Ron Howard’s Solo: A Star Wars Story released, and it had mediocre reviews, but it failed miserably at the box office. With their plan now being restructured, Favreau also worked more on his Star Wars TV show The Mandalorian, which would connect to both Filoni’s The Clone Wars. However, Favreau, not agreeing with Cameron, Filoni, and Edwards’s plans, secretly met with J.J. Abrams and joined his side, informing him of the evil plans that Filoni, Cameron, Edwards, Weaver, Nolan, Ford, and Pegg were making.

The group suddenly had a spectacular idea to not only demolish Star Wars, but Disney itself. Filoni and Edwards would try to convince the Walt Disney Studios CEO Bob Iger to buy 20th Century Fox so it would absorb into Disney. Since Avatar was owned by 20th Century Fox, it would become part of Disney, and Cameron could spy on Star Wars himself without having to have Filoni, Edwards, Pegg, Ford, and Weaver do it for him. With the plans in proper place, Dave Filoni, Gareth Edwards, Simon Pegg, and James Cameron had a meeting with Bob Iger.  Filoni was worried that it might be too obvious that they were working together then, but he finally agreed to it with some convincing. With some thorough persuading from the four, Bob Iger thought this was a great idea. In June 2018, the deal was in progress.

This worried Abrams and Favreau slightly, and they tried to tell Kathleen Kennedy what was really happening, who, after researching, believed them that Dave Filoni, James Cameron, and Gareth Edwards were planning the destruction of Star Wars. However, Favreau couldn’t stand Filoni’s evil plans anymore, and officially declared that he wasn’t working with them anymore, and that he had been telling Abrams of their plans the entire time. Filoni became enraged at this, and injured Favreau, who said that they would never be able to destroy Star Wars and Marvel Studios  Filoni was about to knock Favreau out, but the Marvel filmmaker managed to escape as Abrams entered the room and tried to turn Filoni in the right direction, saying that being a filmmaker doesn’t require trying to destroy other franchises in order to make your film noticeable, and it should instead come from honest and hard work.

Cameron, seeing that Filoni was being turned, tried to convince Filoni that Abrams was just trying to fool him as Edwards, Pegg, Gary Whitta (the writer of Rogue One who joined Filoni’s team), Ford, Weaver, and Nolan watched. However, Filoni told Abrams and Cameron that he couldn’t make film on his own, and he just needed a teacher, who was Lucas for many years. Filoni then realized what he had done, and Abrams offered to mentor him the right way, which Filoni agreed to. Edwards, Pegg, Whitta, Ford, and Nolan also realized at the same time that Cameron was just using them, and he didn’t really care about them. And with that, the group all left Cameron to work on the plan alone.

The Disney-Fox deal was complete on March 20, 2019. Vanessa Morrison, CEO of 20th Century Fox, sold the company to Bob Iger for $71.3 billion dollars. Cameron was pleased by this, but Filoni ignored it, and underwent training by Abrams and Favreau. Gareth Edwards went off in his own direction, directing smaller scale projects for Warner Bros.; Simon Pegg’s hatred for J.J. Abrams didn’t stop, and he created a plan on how to get back at the director; Gary Whitta decided to take a break from writing; Harrison Ford realized that he didn’t really hate Star Wars, but he just didn’t appreciate it as much as he should have; Sigourney Weaver still remained loyal to Cameron and stuck by his side; Christopher Nolan decided to continue directing his own movies instead of shadowing Cameron; Kathleen Kennedy continued to run Lucasfilm and improve the company; J.J. Abrams kept on working at Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker to make it the best Star Wars film of all time; Jon Favreau continued directing his own films, such as The Lion King; George Lucas carried on in his quest to guide Kathleen Kennedy in the right direction; and James Cameron released Alita: Battle Angel in 2019.

Star Wars is at risk. Though Dave Filoni and the others broke off from James Cameron in the end, Cameron will always find a way. Bloodthirsty and powerhungry, he decided to try to invest in new ways to destroy Lucasfilm and Marvel Studios. He might be coming up with another plan, who knows? He might want to get back at Dave Filoni, J.J. Abrams, and Jon Favreau, or maybe even his seemingly loyal recruits who betrayed him in the end. I hope this has shown you how dangerous the film industry can be. Directors fighting for their film to be better, for their franchise to be better. That has been the case with James Cameron and J.J. Abrams. Two directors fighting over their films. Seems mild, doesn’t it?  Well, take another look at this. Disney has been put in a position where it may not escape the grip of James Cameron, who is now coming up with new ways to define film not just through words, but through a movie itself: Avatar.

Force Awakens' vs. 'Avatar': New 'Star Wars' Unlikely to Snag Global  Box-Office Record – The Hollywood Reporter

So, there it is! Let me know your thoughts on these shocking revelations down below, and how did you harness the Force on this year’s Star Wars Day. And, if you consider yourself a villain in George Lucas’s galactic world, don’t forget to celebrate May the Sith Be With You on May 6th!

As for Star Wars Celebration, I’m sure I’ll follow that more closely the weekend that it runs (May 26-29). Taking place in Anaheim, it’ll return after a three-year COVID-19 hiatus! From cosplay events to exclusive merchandise, it’ll be fun to watch. The panels include a highly-anticipated discussion about The Mandalorian Season 3 and its future with Jon Favreau and the evil Dave Filoni called Mando+, as well as another on 2022’s live-action shows (Obi-Wan Kenobi, Andor Season 1, and The Mandalorian Season 3). These will be streaming on the official Star Wars YouTube channel.

There’s a lot happening the weekend of May 27! Star Wars Celebration takes place, Obi-Wan Kenobi‘s first two episodes debut, Top Gun: Maverick releases in theaters, and Netflix drops Stranger Things Season 4 Part 1.

I hope you enjoyed this special May the 4th post, and I’ll be back with another tomorrow (May 5th) about Marvel’s Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. Until then, May the Force be with you!

Whiz Kid out

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