Beware, readers! You are about to step through a doorway into the most terrifying, bloodcurdling, chilling, nightmarish, horrendous, spine-tingling, and (insert scary adjective here) realm possibly imagined by the human cerebrum. You shall experience fear, oh such dreadful fear. This eternal trepidation will consume you, twist your mind, and spawn an irreparable metamorphosis that demands you comply to every single of its radical transformations. In other words, you’re about to read a brief story. Yikes.
No need for concern, I am aware that All Hallow’s Eve has passed and we are now in the Christmas season. (According to Mariah Carey, at least.) However, I needed to continue my yearly tradition of writing a Halloween post, so better late than never! (An original phrase, PWK trademarked.)
Even if the story is later and shorter than usual this year, the time has come nonetheless: we must inevitably return to the continuing chronicle of our cursed Halloween monsters and their battle to possess the holiday itself. . . .
This year’s deadly chapter will resume the (usually) annual saga that has unfolded since 2016, which first developed on the old Planet Whiz Kid site (RIP). Following the events of 2019’s three-part installment, the first Halloween post on the revived PWK website, 2021 and 2022‘s “episodes” set up a new story while still continuing the old one.
Last year, I mentioned that my diabolical plan consisted of writing two additional parts to last year’s Halloween post before this year’s holiday came and then penning (or rather typing) the finale to the overarching story. Evidently, that did not happen. So instead, this post will serve as the prologue to the next part of the overall story. This next part, which will be released sometime early next year, will semi-conclude the volume that started in 2021, and next October’s Halloween article will include the final chapter. In other words, this year’s addition to the story will be more of a short introduction to the longer post debuting in early 2024. Make sense? It had better, cuz I’m not explaining it again!
With that in mind, let us proceed to the horrifying (but family-friendly!) story that awaits you . . .
Halloween: Part Six
Prologue
The Giza Desert, Egypt, 3:12 A.M. The Evening of October 31, 2021, 8:32 P.M. in the Central Time Zone (Halloween Night).
A man roams the heat-stricken wasteland. Clothed in Egyptian garb, the fifty-something Cairo resident is on an expedition to discover something: the truth.
Each year that the Western holiday known as “All Hallow’s Eve” approaches, rumors and speculation quietly float around the African country, making their way through whispers and raised eyebrows. And yet, their presence is frighteningly potent.
October folklore around the Cairo region maintains that within the Great Pyramids of Giza lies a former warlord; a revolutionary leader that claimed to harness the unprecedented ability of reviving those who were buried in those pyramids; a cultish figure born two millennia earlier who was revered, esteemed, and practically worshipped despite his violent temperament and a failed attempt to claim military supremacy over all domains of the earth – one that resulted in his ultimate demise.
Of course, this is all hearsay in the Middle Eastern nation. But somehow, these fables still arise annually, and they seem to grow in vigor – and the amount of fear they cause. Many of the citizens of Cairo have begun superstitious rituals and shuttered themselves in their homes from sunset to sunlight every October 31st. These individuals were initially dismissed as fringe conspiracy theorists, but the amount of closed blinds and locked doors on the mythical day have increased dramatically every year.
Hence, the voyager’s desert journey to prove these so-called fallacies true once and for all.
As the investigative researcher makes his way through the stifling sand kingdom, he sees in the distance the remote silhouette of a pyramid. He is close. Once there, this believer shall search for the tomb of the former emperor, photograph it, and alert the governmental authorities. Praise, pride, and a Nobel prize will (hopefully) result.
About two miles later, the man enters the overall pyramid region. He harshly lies down out of exhaustion, sprawling out on the uncomfortable, sandy ground. One thing is on his mind: water.
Poof.
As if his wishes suddenly transformed into reality, the man turns to his left and instantly spots a canteen. He struggles but is able to crawl over to the desired object and grab it: the item is not simply a figure of his imagination. Unscrewing the lid, he pours the sweet, satiating water into his mouth, relieving him of extreme dehydration.
After fulfilling his survival needs, the man rises himself and looks at the Great Pyramids. While slightly familiar (he has visited them twice before), they have lost none of their majesty. A magnificence that radiates around the world cannot be merely captured in text. Nor can it be fully grasped by the mind – comprehended, perhaps, yet loosely. It is an unobtainable magic.
As the detective-of-sorts starts towards the first pyramid, intending to observe it with great detail, he nearly jumps out of his galabia when he suddenly hears a voice close to his ear:
“Ya like them triangles?”
The man immediately whirls around: to his complete shock, there is someone now standing in front of him.
A puzzling figure to say the least, this mystery someone dons similar garments, plus a shepherd’s staff and a veil over the face. But under that mostly concealing veil lives a pair of purely sinister eyes, which pierce through the fabric in an unearthly sort of way.
The Egyptian researcher feels dread. What is this . . . creature? How did it appear out of literally nowhere? And what does it want?
As the man does not speak English, he utters in a way that manifests fright itself: “‘Anta! Min ‘anti? ‘Ayn yatun min?” (“You! Who are you? Where do you come from?”)
The creature smiles. Due to its hideous nature, this ghastly sight is also, unfortunately, visible from underneath its veil.
Then it abruptly launches into a faux comedy show. It skips around, dances with its shepherd’s staff, and even does a somersault (though a mediocre one at best). Then it speaks again, this time in a different language: “Mah-mah! Mey ‘aet da lazauna! ‘Yoomee! Poom-poom, sayda cloon. Saegolls ah cuhmen! Bisquick sahndawetchis!”
The researcher’s amygdala has dialed itself up significantly now. “Ratanatun! ‘Ant la tatahadath ean ‘alsinatina ‘ayuha al’ahmaq almudtaribi! Ashrah huduraka!” (“Gibberish! You speak not of our tongue, disturbed fool! Explain your presence!”)
Losing patience, the creature, to illustrate its point, casually bends down and pulls off his big toe. Yes, pulls it off. The creature displays it to the appalled man and roars with laughter at the look on his face: 100% terror.
Subsequently, the creature finally removes its veil to display its face: its disgusting, beastly, repulsive, sheet white, gluey, grotesque, absolutely inhuman face. As the cherry on top, it smiles, making a perfect exhibit of its rotten yellow teeth, and the Egyptian researcher passes out.
The deranged monster, as the only remaining conscious figure in the desert, somehow reattaches its toe and now feels free to unrobe itself from the unnecessary attire it wears. After relieving itself from the jibbah tied over its dishdasha, it makes visible further offensiveness to the eyes when it throws off its turban. This unveils its green, wild, untamed, frayed, and plainly hideous hair that protruded from its increasingly balding scalp. The creature takes in a breath and performs a sort of victory dance around its fainted opponent. Once it is satisfied with the amount of tongue-wiggling and Macarena-reenacting, it continues its mission: it approaches the middle and largest pyramid. This cannot be good.
Even though an entrance into the Great Pyramid is available, the mentally unbalanced clown doesn’t care. It backs up, gets into track-and-field form, and takes a run at the Ancient Wonder. The monster hurls itself toward its destination, finding itself high in the air, growing closer with every millisecond to its target. When the moment of make-or-break comes, it is the unhinged entity which has triumphed. The creature has broken through the wall of the sacred monument. Contact has been made.
Brushing some rubble off, the brute looks around, smiles that oh-so evil smile, and shouts to no one in particular, “Build yer shapes sturdier, Libyans!”
Clearly not aware of its erroneous knowledge of history, the creature begins its interior investigation utilizing a lantern, venturing through intricate mazes of hallways and peering into mysterious rooms. It takes over half-an-hour until the creature has navigated appropriately to his intended location. Using a sort of mental map, it finds its way into the eastern corner of the pyramid and stands staring at its final objective: a wall.
Just a wall. No markings, no directions, no signs whatsoever.
The beast ponders for a minute and then takes a view of his surroundings. Following a rather quick inspection, it notices an outlier in the dark shadows: a tablet.
The white-skinned, green-haired detective snatches said item and places it on the wall, pressing in for a few seconds. . . . It sticks.
Suddenly, an event that can only be described as supernatural wastes no time in happening. A powerful wind emits from the newly brightened tablet, blowing the instigator’s greasy hair back. Dust stirs up, rotating in formulated patterns around the area. Distant voices seem to sing in a harmonic, yet oddly oppressive, manner as drums beat to the tone of their opera. Ghostly whispers fill the room and groups of sand blow into peculiar shapes. But then the strangest of occurrences makes its presence known.
In an abrupt manner, the entire pyramid seems to literally tilt. Abandoning all laws of physics, the massive object almost feels like it moves itself and stands on one of its points.
And here’s where the crazy comes in.
The Great Giza Pyramid now whirls around. Indeed, the thirteen-billion-pound masterpiece stands on its tip and spins around at an unprecedented rate of speed. The ghoul inside could feel this, but he’s used to not-so-normal happenings: he simply finds it an amusing ride.
Once done twirling itself for about half a minute, the pyramid floats.
Floats.
The pyramid levitates above the ground which it has remained on for thousands of years.
This is still just an average encounter for the frightening figure who triggered it.
A similar consequence plagues the items inside the grand monolith. Sand and dirt find themselves airborne as the monstrous joker treats the terrifying effect like an antigravity machine, playfully moving around, cackling, and performing bizarre physical movements that should surely severely impact any single viewer.
Swiftly, everything comes crashing down. The Great Pyramid has reset itself.
The tablet falls off the wall, as well.
Almost instantly after the artifact drops from its position, ancient Egyptian drawings slowly appear on the wall, illustrating detailed – and disturbing – pictures of wrapped bodies emerging from their sarcophagi, thousands lurching towards a single something. . . .
A warlord. The very center of the art depicts a bruised, brutal, brutish boss conjuring some sort of spell. The prophecy that never came true.
A name is scribbled underneath the main character: Imhotep.
Just as the monster reads this, two hands suddenly and violently jut out of the wall and begin pulling open a concealed doorway into the room which the monster resides.
Age-old, yellow-tainted linen wraps these long, bony limbs which continue to forge open an entrance. After straining for a few more seconds, the doorway has been opened . . . for the first time in centuries.
Silence. The newly available room is so dark that the creature can’t see into it. Normally such a situation would be unbearably tense, but this creature has journeyed through various expeditions of the same nature.
However, what happens next is rather unexpected. The creature sees a silhouette rapidly approaching and then feels a forceful hand around its neck. The creature is choked and lifted high in the air by the unknown figure, whom is still not visible do to the creature’s current uncomfortable position.
The creature is subsequently, and forcefully, thrown across the room at an energy never before felt. It fiercely hits a wall and crashes to the ground, immediately yelling out, “WAIT! It is I, the Great Coleopteran!” It looks up at the bearer of these words.
It is Imhotep. The Mummy.
And he has just made his exodus through way of Beetlejuice.
As a final word, Happy Halloween, Merry Christmas, whatever! I hope you enjoyed the quick overdue story I put together, and there’ll be more coming your way next year . . .
. . . plus maybe a holiday post or two still this year.
Thanks for reading! And Happy November!
Whiz Kid out
This is great but it’s a cliff hanger and I want to know what happens next! Do I have to wait til Halloween 2024?? If so, in the meantime I’d like a Christmas story to tide me over. Love your writing, WK! You have an amazing way with words. 🙂
Short? You just don’t know the meaning of the word!
But, I did enjoy it! As Maude stated, I also enjoy the way you write. You have a gift.
Also, I really enjoyed your book report! Makes me almost want to read it, almost. 🥴
Keep up the good work.